Monday, September 22, 2014

I'm Alive!!!!

Who knew? In all honesty there's been a LOT going on, most of which I can't talk about due to work & confidentiality agreements. I'll just say the last year + has been very stressful & leave it at that.

It's currently 3 am & it's the morning of my 38th birthday. I'm officially two years away from 40. When did that happen?!? I don't feel like I'm almost 40. Maybe 15? LOL!

Other than the crap I've been dealing with, I'm doing good. Typing this on my 'Droid, so if there are typos, that's why.

At the beginning of this year I started a new obsession & it's not disappearing. In fact it's to a ridiculous point. I...am addicted to South Korean melodramas & K-pop. And I actually know a lot more Korean than I ever thought I would learn in nine months. LOL! In fact, this blog is probably going to be discontinued & I'll focus on one that's more fitting to my life now.

It's not that I've given up my dream of being a writer. It's more like I gave up writing about my life because I didn't have anything to say...not anything I could talk about anyway.

I do admit to being...not hurt necessarily, but invisible when it comes to online friends. I disappeared for almost 2 years & heard nada , nothing, zilch from anyone. I know it's mostly my fault for disappearing, but for all anyone knew, I was dead. It's a little disconcerting to realize that people I thought were friends...really aren't.

I dunno, I guess I'm disillusioned. Too much crap to really care anymore. I get up, go to work, do my job & try to make it through each day with a smile in my face. Am I faking it? You betcha, but it's all I can do anymore. I'm becoming antisocial to the point of unhealthy, but sometimes it's the only way I can function.

Is this entry funny? Probably not. I think I lost my sense of humor a long time ago. Thank God for my SIL & my friends. I still haven't made any here in Michigan, which sucks, but I still have my real friends & that's all that matters, right?

If anyone sees this, they'll probably pass out from shock. Bridget actually posted a blog entry. The mind boggles.

Saturday, April 13, 2013

Life & Such & Things

Thank the good Lord for e-file.  I got my tax return in a WEEK, y'all!  And what a desperately needed thing too.  February & March were TERRIBLE when it comes to funds, so to say I'm behind is an understatement.  But, payday & tax return helped me get current on everything.  Phew!

I am...doing well.  Been crazy busy with work & life in general, so it feels good to have a day all to myself.  My apartment is clean...ish and all I need to do is pick up a few pieces of laundry & I'm good to go.  Yay!  lol

The best part about getting my tax return back so quickly is I can grocery shop for reals!  I've been pinching pennies something fierce for the last few months & haven't been able to really shop for necessary items.  I need sustenance!  lol

I've come to a conclusion about myself.  It's not very pretty, but here it is.  I'm 36 years old.  I've never been in a serious relationship nor have I ever been in love.  At the rate I'm going, I doubt I'll ever have either.  In all honesty?  I'm kinda okay with that.  How sad is that?

I was talking to a friend about it last night and he said something that really resonated with me.  He said that the most important thing is to be comfortable with myself.  No one else really matters in the long run.  It's what YOU want, not about pleasing others.  I am a people-pleaser, so I really need to get over that.  It's exhausting trying to make others happy when I'm not.  So, I'm turning over a new leaf.  If what I do doesn't make someone happy?  Aw well.  They need to get over themselves.

I'm really & truly exhausted.  I work in a giant warehouse with 8 other people.  Yes, only 9 of us work there.  Yesterday we were down to 5.  To say that yesterday was a nightmare?  Major understatement.  But, it got done, it's Saturday, I have $ burning in my pocket & I want breakfast.  Not just any breakfast.  A GOOD one!  Huzzah!

So, am going to go put on some clothes, drive to this little hole-in-the-wall diner a block or two from my apartment and I'm going to pig out.  Aw yeah!  lol

Hope everyone is doing well.  I've got some plans to revamp my blog and be more "professional." Me?  Professional?  Surely you jest!  *snort*

Saturday, February 23, 2013

I'm Alive!!!!!

Yes, I know, it's a miracle that I'm actually posting.  All I can say is that I've been insanely busy & that's it.  No, the busy-ness isn't exciting (sadly), but I'm doing a lot right now.  It's seems like I can't keep my head on straight at the moment.  Always exciting...not!

Things are...all right, I guess.  My dad had another health scare right around the new year.  Doctors are baffled & can't figure out what's wrong with him.  It's...scary, because he's my dad and I want him to be okay.

Writing is going well, which is definitely good.  I'm almost done with edits and then I can finally send it off to the publisher.  I hate it that my brain's not wired for edits.  I can write and write and write, but when it comes time to edit my own stuff...pffftttttt...  That's the sound of air exploding from my ears as my brain deflates.  heh

I'm waiting for laundry to finish so I can take a shower and wash my hair.  *sigh*  There's something about washing my hair that just makes me feel more human or something.  I only wash my hair once a week because it's so thick, but when I do, it's a 30-minute endeavor.  lol

I feel bad that I've disappeared from most social media.  I'm still on Twitter all the time because it's easy to check it from my phone, but to actually log onto my computer??  Pfft..  :P

Going out to dinner with my mom tomorrow, which will be nice.  We haven't had a chance to do that in a long time.  I was talking to one of my coworkers the other day & lamenting the lack of good Chinese food around here.  He recommended a place, so we're going to go try it out.  Yay!

I gave up cable a few months ago, mostly for financial reasons, but I've noticed how little I actually miss TV!  What a time waster!  Sheesh!  I can't say I'm never on my TV, because that would be a horrible lie, but I don't miss watching things.  I figure if it's something I think I might be interested in, I can get it on DVD later.  Plus, no commercials that way, which to me is a win-win.

I have been playing Black Ops II WAY TOO MUCH lately, but I have a good excuse.  I finally broke down and got a headset so that I can talk to other players.  Well, that was both the best and worst thing I ever did.  I've actually made some great friends and we have a blast, but boy is it a time-suck!  Eesh!

Today is all about playing catch up.  Paid my bills, got on FB, writing a post here...I think my work is done.  I'm going to try to do better.  It's almost the end of February & this is my first post of 2013, so I don't think my intentions are going work.  *sigh*  We'll see.  Later, y'all!  :D

Saturday, December 8, 2012

Pseudonyms, Pseudonyms, Everywhere a Pseudonym

I decided to write about pseudonyms today because they are near & dear to my heart.  You see, I am a pseudonym.  Bridget isn't my real name.

When I decided to create an online presence, I decided to do so under a pseudonym.  I knew one day I'd be a writer and wanted my "brand" to be established before I ever got published.  Almost ten years later and here I am.

It took me a long time to find a name that would work for me.  I wanted something that I would respond to.  Nothing worse than having someone call out your name and not turning around or acknowledging them.  Now, people yell "Bridget" and I immediately respond.

I also chose to be known under a pseudonym for privacy's sake.  The stories I write (if/when published) are of a spicy nature.  A lot of sex, naughty words, etc.  I grew up in a very conservative household in a very conservative religion.  There are many, many people who would be horrified and horribly offended by what I write if I did so under my real name.

Yes, there are people out there who know who I really am, but I trust them to keep that to themselves.  Should everyone write under a pseudonym?  In all honesty I think it depends on the person.  Many of my favorite authors write under pseudonyms.  Close to their real names, but not real all the same.

I admit I enjoy the sense of anonymity I have.  Yes, it makes making friendships in this writing world weird because I don't know how to say "Bridget isn't my real name," but at the same time, maybe I want the friendship to be on that writerly level.  I don't know if that makes sense, but there you go.

Now y'all know.  I've never hidden it.  But I guess I felt it was time to put it out there for the world to see.  My name is Bridget.  And I like it that way.  :)

Friday, December 7, 2012

This

is why I love Ilona Andrews.  She has a way of discussing things that just resonates with me.  I recommend reading this, especially if you write.  She breaks things down in a way I never could.

Sunday, December 2, 2012

Things & Stuff &...Things

Sitting here eating peanut M&M's and listening to Pandora.  I'm having one of those weird days where I have absolutely no gumption.  Zero, zilch, nada.  *sigh*  I HATE that.  :(

Have had a very quiet weekend, which was definitely needed.  Last week, though not busy, was a hormonal overload & I needed this weekend to recharge.  As I'm getting older my hormones really hate me.  Honestly, since I don't plan on having children I should just have it all taken out, but ew.  I just know I don't want to go through menopause.  If it's anything like my mom's, I'd rather just be shot & put out of my misery, thanks.

I got edits back from my CP and I cringe.  Ugh!  Why do I think I can be an author?  Really, it's awful.  :(  But, I need to do them, so there you go.  My SIL has given me the date of January 1st to have them all done.  I need a deadline, otherwise I'll procrastinate until I'm dead.  :(

Been playing Sims 3 Supernatural WAY TOO MUCH!  As in, it's a horrible addiction & it needs to stop.  *sigh*

And that's about it.  On a side note, peanut M&M's should just be called crack.  I can never stop with just a few.  :P


Ciao, all!

Saturday, November 24, 2012

Thanksgiving & Other Things

Where to start?  Thanksgiving was a lovely day.  Spent it over at my brother & SIL's.  My SIL is the most amazing cook.  Her turkey is beyond delish!  At way too much and spent some quality time with the boys.  It was a great day.

Yesterday I was a bum.  I did nothing and it was good.  :)

Today was basically the same.  Did go to Lane Bryant yesterday.  Was going to buy some undies because their brand is my favorite, but I didn't find any I liked.  The colors & designs are horrible this time around.  Instead I bought three camis and a cardigan.  The camis are gorgeous & I can't wait to wear them.  Don't know when that will be, but I can't wait.  :D

Got Chapters 1-3 back from my CP and I cringe.  Eesh.  Sometimes I wonder why I write.  Am I even any good?  It's sad really, but writing is...both a blessing & curse for me.  I love doing it (usually), but the edits & critiquing suck.  I need to get a tougher spine or something.  :(

Tomorrow is laundry & grocery shopping, if the weather holds out.  We actually had snow yesterday though it didn't stick.  It was 63 on Thursday & barely hit 30 yesterday.  Oh the joys of living in Michigan.  ha!

Found a great clothing store, but it's so expensive I might never be able to buy from it.  *sigh*  It's kind of vintage 50's in feel, but so many of the dresses in particular are just gorgeous.  I found one in particular that I'm gaga over, but can't see spending close to $200 for it.  I'm cheap!  Ha!

Looking around at gift ideas.  Not buying for too many people this year.  My nephews, my CP & my oldest friend.  I think that about covers it.  We'll see what I come up with.

I wish I could find a good coloring book.  Yes, I'm 36 years old, but when I've got a lot on my mind, I like to color.  It helps me get my focus back, so to speak.  :)  I remember those amazing color your own posters.  I had one that took me two years to finish, but when I was done, it was so cool I had it laminated.  Now it hangs in my bathroom.  :D

Anything else?  I got a bonus from work, which was lovely!  Came in VERY handy, let me tell ya.  Money's been tight.  I bought my computer in March & if I pay it off in 18 months, there are no finance charges.  The only problem?  Paying it off in 18 months.  :(  However, sending most of my bonus towards it will pay it down considerably.  Even if I can only afford $50 payments, I'll have it paid off in that time frame.  Hurrah!

I did spoil myself a little.  I bought Black Ops II (already beat it...took 10 hours tops) and Sims 3 Supernatural, which I'm having way too much fun playing.  :)  I'm such a geek at heart.  It's kind of ridiculous, really.  :)

And with that I think I'm off.  Going to buy a few new books & stuff.  I just finished Lord's Fall by Thea Harrison.  I was hoping I'd like it as much as Dragon Bound, but for some reason it came across as a little flat for me.  I think it's because the end was too simple.  The Big Baddie didn't have the ending I felt he deserved.  But that's just me.

There are a few books I'm going to buy because of recommendations.  Most of all is Leave Me Breathless by Cherie Lynn.  Seems to be a big thing right now.  I think I have the right author for that.  If not, I apologize.  Been seeing too many recommendations lately.  I blame Twitter & Smexybooks.  LOL!

And with that I'm off.  Going to play Sims 3 for a little bit & then go to bed.  I haven't slept anywhere near as much as I've expected.  Am rather saddened by this.  *sniffle*

Hope everyone had a great Thanksgiving if you have it & a great week if you didn't. 


Ciao for now.