Positive Thinking

I know, I've been all doom & gloom lately. I apologize for that. It's not intentional. Sometimes I just need to vent & my blog is the most convenient place for me to do that.

However, tonight I'm going to try positive thinking & see where that gets me. :D

Work is busy, which is always good. Now that I'm in the position that I'm in, my day goes by insanely fast. Since I hate sitting around & feeling useless, that makes me happy.

Yesterday was New Book Tuesday & surprise! I went a smidge crazy. *sigh* I really need to stop doing that. Lol

I bought Surrender of a Siren by Tessa Dare, another book I'm brainfarting, and...Blood Promise by Richelle Mead! Whoot! And can you believe I haven't even cracked it open yet? I know! My self-restraint boggles my mind!

But, it's my treat for FINALLY cleaning my room this weekend. I've procrastinated enough. *sigh*

I was thinking about dating today. A funny thing happened a week or so ago when someone called me in regards to a verification they were doing. They said I'd been out down as a reference. They gave me the name & I completely drew a blank. It took me probably 20 minutes to realize it was my ex-boyfriend!!! I know!

But me as a reference had happened while we were still dating...at least 3 years ago. I told the lady it was a good thing he hadn't just done it b/c he wouldn't have gotten a very good one from me now. I didn't tell her why, but he'd cheated on me with his ex because she was handy & I wasn't. Might be why I haven't had a relationship, especially a long distance relationship since.

When I think about how long it's been since I went on an honest-to-goodness date it makes me cringe. It's been so long that...well, let me put it this way. The last date I went on, we went to see 300. Yeah, it's been THAT long! Ack!

I can't quite figure out why, either. I mean, I know I'm not physically anything to brag home about, but I do have good qualities...I think. I'm funny, smart, nice...maybe it's because I won't put out on the first date? Lol

Sometimes it's just depressing. Oh well.

And I'm off. Tired and need to go to bed. Hope y'all have a good Thursday!

yeah-yeah

I know, I posted earlier. Got a lot on my mind, I guess.

As most of you have figured out, Bridget is my author name (it's late) & not my real name. I like the anonymity of that. There are some who know the real me...whoever that is. Sometimes I wonder.

I don't know why people I don't know very well or at all seem to be coming out of the woodwork to find me.

My mom said that a girl I barely know asked about me at church yesterday. I didn't know how to respond. The weird thing about my past is that I was just as ostracized at church as I was at school. Judgmental brings happen everywhere.

I try REALLY hard not to be bitter, but I admit it's not easy for me to forget.

I've never believed that a person HAS to go to church to be a spiritual person, even though that was what I was taught growing up. Maybe i've got a more open mind, but i've always felt that spirituality is what you make of it.

Are there times when I face doubts? All the time. I think that's just part of human nature. But, I still have my own belief system.

I remember when I decided to stop attending church. It was the hardest decision i've ever made in my life, but I think it was honestly the best decision I ever made. I'd gotten so fed up with hypocrisy and "Sunday" Christians that I started losing faith in all that was around me.

The hardest part was convincing my father that I hadn't lost my faith and that I was a better person for what I had done. It's still something we butt heads over, but that's just the way it is.

Was I planning on writing this tonight? No...I was planning on rambling & complaining about insomnia. Sometimes the psyche is a strange thing.

Yadda-Yadda-Yadda

Etc. Etc. Etc. Ha!

I'm being a comedian tonight. *sigh*

After the fiasco that was Friday, I went into work expecting a big brouhaha. Nothing happened. Who knows. At this point I'd just settle for this person going far, far away. :P

Had a dental appointment this morning and had 4 fillings done, all on the right side, upper portion. My face feels like someone punched me. Boo! But, no more cavities. Yay!

Trying to figure out what to do for my b-day next month. Beach? E-reader? Eenie-meanie...

I'm unable to sleep tonight...again. I hate using sleeping pills, but there are times when I just get to the point where I can't stand it anymore.

I'm bored.

Tomorrow is new book Tuesday! I get Tessa Dare's new book and BLOOD PROMISE by RICHELLE MEAD FINALLY comes out. Oy! I don't know how I've waited so patiently. lol


Um, what else? I got nothin'. Told you I was bored! lol

Ciao!

Hola!

I hope everyone is doing well on this beautiful Saturday. I'm finally feeling more like myself. I had an amazing night's sleep and I think that helped me out considerably. :) I can only hope tonight will be as good. :)

This week was just a nightmare when it comes to work. A lot going on that I wish hadn't happened, but I admittedly wasn't surprised (unfortunately). Yesterday was a bit of a joke, but I'm hoping the repurcussions will be small. *crossing fingers* Not that I did anything wrong; in fact I had to tattle on one of my coworkers. It was extremely uncomforable, but it wasn't something that had to be done. This person has an anger issue problem and doesn't know how to control their temper. This person gets physical with their anger, so they're pretty scary to be around. *sigh* Yesterday was the last straw for me and I had to get it out. I'm hoping things will get fixed quick and get done!!

Last night we went to a candle party thrown by my SIL. I think the girl gene completely skipped me because that sort of thing just doesn't appeal to me at all. But I went and actually had a pretty good time. I bought some vanilla and cinammon candles, so I'm happy.

My birthday is a month from today. I'm still trying to figure out how on earth I'm going to be able to swing going to the beach, but I've got my vacation coming up and I HAVE to get away. I just can't do this anymore. *sigh*

Today I got up, called my "niece" and we went out. Found out the only Payless in Portland where I can find size 11's went out of business, so now I've gotta figure out how to find some shoes that will actually fit. *sigh* I hate having big feet. It really sucks. It doesn't help that one of my feet is bigger than the other, so sizing shoes is just a big fat pain in the butt. Blah!

I bought Maria V. Snyder's new book. It's the sequel to Storm Glass, so I'm definitely looking forward to it.

I was told my copy of Blood Promise had come in, but they won't let me pick it up until Tuesday. Something about not wanting to get fined. *sniffle* Pay the fine! Give me my book!!

Aw well, whatever. I might end up going to bed early tonight. I'm just tired, y'all. Ciao!

Ugh...Part...Oh, who cares...

Ugh fits me to a "T" right now. There's a lot going on behind the scenes (so to speak) that I'm not really into discussing on here other than to say that I am so beyond sick of people who can't take responsibility for their own actions and that I just with they would GO AWAY!!!! *sigh*

On the good front (whatever that might be), I've read a couple of super-duper awesome books since yesterday. One was Goddess Below Stars by (I'm probably screwing up the spelling) Eva Ibbotso(e?)n. It's a YA novel that's a take on Cinderella. Read the review over on the Book Smugglers and had to read it. It was a super sweet, wonderful story.

2nd was Dreamfever by KMM. All I could say when I finished it was WHOA. First off, some major, major twists that I was SO not expecting. Secondly, another awesome installment. I'm sad to see that book 5 will be the last. *sniffle* As long as KMM resolves everything, I think I will be content. :)

3. Read Rachel Caine's new one. I didn't like it as much as I'd hoped. Jo makes some really...well, I won't go into details, but I didn't care for her much at all in this book. Sad. :(


And that's about it. It's about 90 degrees outside right now, my house is like a sauna and I'm exhausted. Spiritually, mentally, emotionally, & physically exhausted. I need this vacation I get next month with a desperation I don't think I can articulate. *sigh*

I Need To Go To Bed

Obviously that's not happening. I've had a headache all day & have felt just ugh. Oh well.

Tomorrow is Monday already. That's just wrong. *sigh*

Stupid BlackBerry

Ate my post. *sigh*

All's well that ends well. This stupid, evil, awful week is finally over. Thank you, Lord! It was just one of those weeks where it dragged on FOREVER and seemed like it would never end. Wah!

My brother & SIL celebrated their 7th wedding anniversary on Monday, so tomorrow my mom's taking the boys for the weekend so that the two of them can have the house to themselves. Since my nephews have been on a terror all week and my mom is their primary caregiver during the week, I told her under no circumstances was she to go grocery shopping. She's to have a list and I am going for her. We shall see if that transpires or not. The woman is stubborn AND sneaky. *sigh*

I have no real plans this weekend other than to sleep and vegetate. I'm just stinkin' tired. I've learned that I cannot go for longer than 3 months without some sort of vacation. I have a whole week coming up in September, like I do every year. It's my way of celebrating my birthday. I have NO idea why people choose to work on their birthday. To me, it's my one day to just chill and be selfish with my time.

Next year I'll celebrate 5 years with the company I work for and once that happens, I get 3 weeks paid vacation. So...we shall see what happens.

I'm really grumpy and just not a great person to be around right now. I need time to just recharge my poor, rundown batteries. *sigh*

I got my Entertainment Weekly in the mail today. It's the Fall Movie Preview. There are a couple of movies coming out that I really, really want to see. One of them is a movie made from an amazing book. It's Shutter Island. It stars Leo Di Caprio, which I honestly do not see as the main character. It's a movie I'm not sure I really want to see, but on the other hand, I do (if that makes sense).

I think I'm going to go write for awhile and see what happens. Wish me luck!

Much Better

I think. After a decent night's sleep last night, I woke up feeling better. I'm still not feeling peachy keen, but I'm feeling more like myself (whatever that is).

I've been writing sporadically over the last few days. Nothing exciting or anything, but at least I'm getting words on screen, which is nice. I wish I could get over my need for perfection. I know the first draft is supposed to suck, but I have this tendency to need to have everything perfect AS I'm writing it. *headdesk* I'm basically doomed to failure, so I'm trying really hard to be a good girl and ignore my inner voice. *sigh*

On the reading front, I've been having some luck. I've been reading a lot of YA lately, mostly because of the Book Smugglers and their YA Appreciation month. They've discussed some really fascinating books and my wallet hates them. lol

My birthday is next month. I'm going to be 33. I know, it's crazy. I don't feel like I'm in my 30's, but how is a 30-something person supposed to feel? Sometimes I feel like I'm 12 and others I feel like I'm 90. It really depends on the day. :)

If all goes as planned, I hope to go to the beach for a few days. I try to do that every year. Last year I ended up taking care of my mom after her surgery. I did get to go to an awesome book signing, so that was cool. I hope to go to another thing like that this year (if I'm lucky).

I'll be having a contest over on my blog to celebrate the release of my friend Delilah Marvelle's August release Lord of Pleasure. I just need to figure out what the contest is. I'll have more info soon (I hope).

One of the ladies I follow wrote this beautiful blog entry. I'm including a link, because I really think you should go read it. Sula always writes these thoughtful posts, but this one really touched me. :)

And I think that's it for now. I'm off to Samhain and then it's on to writing. *crossing fingers* I'm going to get this book finished even if I end up going insane by the time I'm done.

Ciao!

*sigh*

For the last few days I've been battling...I don't want to say depression, but feeling very blah. Sad, angsty, I dunno, but I'm sick of it. Unfortunately, it seems to want to stick around. *sigh*

Work sucked. It was definitely a Monday. I wasn't feeling it. :(

Read. A lot. Joy! Good books! Yay!

And that's about it. I'm just feeling blue, I guess. Oh joy.

Wrote...

Over 2000 words tonight. I am happy. :)

Day of Adventure...And Things Like That

So, I didn't blog about what happened to me yesterday because, well, I felt like an idiot. *eye roll* As I stated in a previous blog, I was doing a favor for work and was working in another city in a warehouse. When they'd asked me if I'd be willing to do it, they didn't go into much detail as to what I'd be doing. Me, in my infinite wisdome, said OKAY! *smacks head*

Got to where I was supposed to be bright and early yesterday morning. Put away my things and the supervisor there then proceeds to tell me what I'd be doing. Um, yeah. Stuck in a huge warehouse w/ absolutely no air circulating (remember, it's been close to 100 for a couple of weeks now) surrounded by boxes and boxes of materials.

Geniuses that they were, they FINALLY got fans going, but the boxes were between me and the fan. I ended up getting heat exhaustion and ended up really, really close to being VERY sick. I lasted 2 1/2 hours before I finally had to give up and go home. I called my boss and told her I couldn't do it. There was no way on God's green earth that I could do that again. She was very cool and understanding about the whole thing.

I stayed home and got myself rehydrated and slept for about 4 hours. I feel MUCH better today, though I still feel a bit peaky. My body's all discombobulated. *sniffle*

I find it funny that people are friending me on Facebook. I'm not online at all under my real name. It's my pseudonym only, which is just the way I like it. I had left a message on one of my friends posts and a ghost from my past friended me. And I don't think she has any idea who I really am. LOL!

August has started out as a great reading month. I've been very lucky in my choices (so far). I put the next Vampire Academy book on hold at Barnes & Noble today, so that makes me super happy. :)

I've been contemplating writing a couple of short stories to coincide with my books. The books themselves have a lot going on and I would really like to write a novella or extreme short story showcasing a "slow" moment in their lives. I had an idea for one that would be between books 1 & 2, but am not sure if it would work. I need to finish book 1 completely, start book 2 and see where it leads.

I find it funny that short stories are sparking in my head since I've never liked writing them in the past. I'm an EPIC writer. I love stories that are long. It's been interesting working on book 1, because I'm realizing I need to cut a LOT before it'll work out the way I'd like it to. *sigh* The epicness I enjoy so much is also causing me a lot of headaches. When will I learn? Argh! *headdesk*

So, I'm off to go write. I hope y'all have a great night! I get to go to the dentist tomorrow. Lucky me! :~P

Oy, Part...500? :P

Well, it's still hot here in my neck of the woods, though THANKFULLY it's not over 100. Unfortunately it IS muggy. Boo! :(

I did have a lovely day today though. I went out to breakfast with my friend/"niece" V and came home. Because my muse woke me up at 8:15, I was super, super tired. Took a nap around 2:30. Just took a shower about an hour ago and am trying to stay cool. Trying being the operative word here. *sigh*

I'm hoping to have my reading list up for July tomorrow. I read some great books last month. Yay!

Next week I'm working outside of the office and going to a different city even. It's just across the river, but I'm not sure if I'm looking forward to it or not. *rolls eyes* It's one of those things where they asked, I wasn't thinking and said yes. *sigh* What's worse is I know when I come back to the office on Friday, things are going to be a joke. One of my back-ups is actually pretty competent. He does what I tell him to do. The other one is...hmm...trying to think of the nicest way to say this. Honestly? He's pretty pathetic. What's worse is...he has no clue. *shakes head*

Now that book 2 has smacked me upside the head, the urgency to completely finish book one is pushing me along. I'm really, really excited. I think the "twist" that I came up with will really create a unique story for the paranormal romance lovers out there. *crossing fingers* It's sexy and trippy and way too much fun. :)

I'm wearing an ex-boyfriend's shirt as a nightshirt tonight. I'd bought it for him right before we broke up so never gave it to him. I'd forgotten just what a big guy he was. I'm 6'1" and the shirt goes down to my knees. Weird. But, I also realized when I put it on that I'd lost more weight than I thought I had. The shirt is now more like an actual nightshirt. How cool is that??? :)

And I'm off. Read Dana Marie Bell's latest book last night, so I'm feeling the urge to reread some of her other stuff. If you like unique takes on things, definitely recommend you look her up. She writes for Samhain. :)

Ciao!

Me & My Brain...*shakes head*

Less than 7 hours of sleep last night. Would you like to know why? I had an extremely vivid dream last night and I came to with the word "NO!" screaming in my ear. When I woke up, I felt like I'd been wrenched apart.

Why is that? Because all...and I do mean all...of book 2 had come to me. Everything. Plot. Dialogue. Who done what. You name it, I basically have it. Now I HAVE to finish book 1 so I can work on book 2. Ack! *headdesk*