Oy.
So, I kinda dropped off the face of the earth again, didn't I? *sigh* I can only say that I've been doing a lot of thinking. Sometimes I think that's a bad thing.
My birthday is on Thursday. I'll be 35. Sometimes it's very difficult for me to fathom that I'm in my mid-3o's. When did that happen? Seems like just yesterday I was a horribly awkward teenager. Now I'm a horribly awkward adult. :P
I've also been struggling with...not necessarily depression, but a feeling of failure. When I think about my life, I can't really say why exactly I feel this way. I think 99% of it is my job. My brother is my boss. It's not easy working with family, especially when they don't want to tell you something in fear that they'll hurt your feelings. I explain to him over and over again that at work he's my boss, not my brother, but that doesn't seem to have penetrated. It's frustrating when he finally does tell me I'm doing something wrong, but it's been going on for weeks. Obviously if I haven't fixed it, I don't realize I'm doing said thing wrong. I finally got a bit snippy & told him that if he wanted me to fix something he had to tell me right away. No more holding it in and letting me screw up over and over and over again. Argh!!!!!!!!
So, that's been my biggest struggle lately. The apartment is doing well. It's a bit of a disaster at the moment, but it's feeling more like home. My upstairs neighbors are annoying to say the least. They walk around like a herd of elephants. Thud, thud, thud. *sigh* This usually happens between 11 and 2 am. Blech!
I need to go shopping for jeans. The ones I wear to work are getting seriously worn out. One pair has a giant hole in the upper inside thigh. No flashing, please! HA!
The plants my mom bought me are still alive; a bit of a minor miracle. Black thumb is the usual route. Heh.
And really, that's about all. Definitely looking forward to my 4-day weekend next week. Just time to chill. My mom's taking me out, which will be nice. :)
Have a great weekend, y'all!
2 comments:
I'm sorry things are difficult at work. It can be hard working with/for relatives. At least he's not pulling the superiority bit on you like many would. ;-)
But you're right, he does need to be upfront and understand that it's not helping you or the company you both work for if he doesn't help you correct your mistakes. Hopefully, he'll figure out how to do that before you kill him. hehehe
(((hugs))) on the age thing, too. Oh! and (((extra hugs) on the noisy neighbors thing.
Happy Birthday for Thursday! I hope you have a lovely day!
And all the best with talking to your brother and getting things sorted. Hmm. Maybe you could tell him just what you said, that you feel like a failure when you realize you've been doing something wrong for weeks. Plus, perhaps he needs to look at it as helping you learn. And you want that :)
And all the best with the shopping!
If the depression is still lingering, have you thought about getting a referral to a psychotherapist? (Not trying to be all dictatorial, just worried about you. I want you to be happy.)
Post a Comment