I really am.
My mom and I had a discussion not that long ago about me. Depression runs in my family to a ridiculous extent. I know for myself that I've struggled with it for years. I've always been afraid to get diagnosed for it though; more out of fear than anything. I don't want to be on drugs for the rest of my life. But, there are some days when I think that would be better than what I'm dealing with at the moment.
As y'all know from reading my sad dating history that dating hasn't been a part of my life in a long time. I'm usually okay with that, especially now that I've gotten out on my own and am...free. But, there are days when it really, really sucks. It makes me wonder what it is about me that turns men off.
I know I'm not perfect. I'm heavier than I should be. I'm also tall. And smart. But, you would think there would be that ONE man out there who was actually into me. *sigh* Moving to Michigan has been a bit depressing. Detroit is going thru a serious depression. The men who are available are either in jail, just out of jail or going into to jail. I'm over exaggerating, but not by much.
It wasn't much better in Portland where so much of the male population was gay. Some days I wonder if I will EVER find the right man for me.
Getting married isn't really a priority for me, but I would like to have at least one blazing love affair in my lifetime. With the way things are going, I don't think it'll be in my lifetime. Maybe I need to travel around the world to find that guy. It would be nice if I had the funds to do so, but I think it's pretty unlikely to happen anytime in the near future.
I know, I know, I'm such a pessimist. Shame on me. :( Sometimes I think a woman is allowed to feel that way. It's been five years since I've been on a date or been kissed or...well, anything. Sad, huh?
Saturday, August 20, 2011
Wednesday, August 17, 2011
Oy
I've come to the conclusion that I don't fit into the usual mold. Ha! Like that's a surprise to anyone who's read my blog over the years.
I tried (tried being the operative word) to watch the Twilight movies. I read the first three books in the series. However, they made me so angry and frustrated that I gave up after Eclipse. After hearing what people had to say about Breaking Dawn, I'm glad I did.
But that's not the point of this entry. This entry is about the movies and what I think. Be prepared to want to kick me. It's not going to be pretty.
#1. Kristin Stewart cannot act...or should I say, she can't act in these movies. Everything is stuttered or muttered. You can barely understand a word she says. Not only that, but she makes Bella even more annoying than she was in the books. And that's saying something!
#2. I don't get the appeal of Robert Pattinson. I think I'm the only female in America who's not totally in love with him. He's creepy looking! And not only when he plays Edward. I just don't see the appeal.
#3. I'll probably go to hell for saying this, but Taylor Lautner's body? Yowza!!! Can he act? Eh...but the eye candy he dishes out is quite nice. Ew! Now I've gotta go take a shower.
#4. The "sparkle effect?" Ha! Oh, dude, I laughed so hard when that came on the screen. How on earth can you take that seriously??? Sheesh!
#5. Eh...I don't have anything else. Just the fact that I watched part of Twilight shocks me. I'm not a fan. There are vampire romances out there that are SO much better. They don't make the heroine a whiny crybaby who's entire life's purpose is to die so she can be with her man. AND they don't make the hero into a creepy stalker-like person who dictates who the heroine can talk to. Thanks, but no thanks.
I tried (tried being the operative word) to watch the Twilight movies. I read the first three books in the series. However, they made me so angry and frustrated that I gave up after Eclipse. After hearing what people had to say about Breaking Dawn, I'm glad I did.
But that's not the point of this entry. This entry is about the movies and what I think. Be prepared to want to kick me. It's not going to be pretty.
#1. Kristin Stewart cannot act...or should I say, she can't act in these movies. Everything is stuttered or muttered. You can barely understand a word she says. Not only that, but she makes Bella even more annoying than she was in the books. And that's saying something!
#2. I don't get the appeal of Robert Pattinson. I think I'm the only female in America who's not totally in love with him. He's creepy looking! And not only when he plays Edward. I just don't see the appeal.
#3. I'll probably go to hell for saying this, but Taylor Lautner's body? Yowza!!! Can he act? Eh...but the eye candy he dishes out is quite nice. Ew! Now I've gotta go take a shower.
#4. The "sparkle effect?" Ha! Oh, dude, I laughed so hard when that came on the screen. How on earth can you take that seriously??? Sheesh!
#5. Eh...I don't have anything else. Just the fact that I watched part of Twilight shocks me. I'm not a fan. There are vampire romances out there that are SO much better. They don't make the heroine a whiny crybaby who's entire life's purpose is to die so she can be with her man. AND they don't make the hero into a creepy stalker-like person who dictates who the heroine can talk to. Thanks, but no thanks.
Tuesday, August 16, 2011
Quickish Post
Oy, talk about a lot of nonsense & such. Am finally settled into my apartment. What a nightmare! All I can say is thank goodness for my family. Without them I'd probably be in tears and such still.
The day I moved in, I did a super-quick walk-through of my apartment. The one I saw originally got rented out from under me & I hadn't seen my actual apartment. It seemed okay, so I went in & signed my lease. We moved in on Friday night because everyone had plans for the weekend & all.
My SIL (who is an angel), stayed late Friday night to help me at least get the basics taken care of. However, as we were going thru stuff, we began to notice stuff. The smell was the biggest issue. The previous tenant smoked and had a cat. Blech! Also, they hadn't cleaned the apartment AT ALL, so we spent almost 2 hours just doing that. I won't tell you what I found, because it's disgusting, but suffice it to say...I was pissed.
Monday I went into the office and ranted. Made a big to-do about it. Apologies, etc, but I didn't get any satisfaction out of the deal. :( Boxes and bins were piled up to the ceiling (or so it seemed) and I admit I was horribly overwhelmed. My mom & SIL came over the following Saturday and helped me fully unpack and basically make my apartment into a home. I don't have any pictures at the moment because it's still not...perfect, but it's now liveable. Huzzah!
I got internet & cable this past weekend, which is great! I'm able to record and watch shows I haven't been able to see in a long time. I'm writing because I have a dining room table (that I got for free! yay!) and can sit here to write.
Work's been crazy and kind of unpleasant lately, but thankfully that seems to be calming down a bit. Overall, life is finally normal again. I have to admit that being in my own space is both good and bad. Good, because I make my own rules & don't have to worry about anyone else. Bad, because now I have to clean AND grocery shop. Blech! It's really hard to figure out what tastes good. I don't cook...at all. I've gotta learn how to at least use the crock pot. lol
And that's about it. I know, this is short & sweet, but there's honestly not a whole lot going on. I would like to paint somewhere in the near future and get some stuff for the walls. My poor walls are so bare. I have these great Euro shams, but need to buy the pillows to put in them. Bleh...obviously I have a ton of plans. Will they come to fruition? Maybe. :)
The day I moved in, I did a super-quick walk-through of my apartment. The one I saw originally got rented out from under me & I hadn't seen my actual apartment. It seemed okay, so I went in & signed my lease. We moved in on Friday night because everyone had plans for the weekend & all.
My SIL (who is an angel), stayed late Friday night to help me at least get the basics taken care of. However, as we were going thru stuff, we began to notice stuff. The smell was the biggest issue. The previous tenant smoked and had a cat. Blech! Also, they hadn't cleaned the apartment AT ALL, so we spent almost 2 hours just doing that. I won't tell you what I found, because it's disgusting, but suffice it to say...I was pissed.
Monday I went into the office and ranted. Made a big to-do about it. Apologies, etc, but I didn't get any satisfaction out of the deal. :( Boxes and bins were piled up to the ceiling (or so it seemed) and I admit I was horribly overwhelmed. My mom & SIL came over the following Saturday and helped me fully unpack and basically make my apartment into a home. I don't have any pictures at the moment because it's still not...perfect, but it's now liveable. Huzzah!
I got internet & cable this past weekend, which is great! I'm able to record and watch shows I haven't been able to see in a long time. I'm writing because I have a dining room table (that I got for free! yay!) and can sit here to write.
Work's been crazy and kind of unpleasant lately, but thankfully that seems to be calming down a bit. Overall, life is finally normal again. I have to admit that being in my own space is both good and bad. Good, because I make my own rules & don't have to worry about anyone else. Bad, because now I have to clean AND grocery shop. Blech! It's really hard to figure out what tastes good. I don't cook...at all. I've gotta learn how to at least use the crock pot. lol
And that's about it. I know, this is short & sweet, but there's honestly not a whole lot going on. I would like to paint somewhere in the near future and get some stuff for the walls. My poor walls are so bare. I have these great Euro shams, but need to buy the pillows to put in them. Bleh...obviously I have a ton of plans. Will they come to fruition? Maybe. :)
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