Reading, Writing, and Life...Oh My!

I'm Alive, Happy New Year & Other Stuff

2012-01-14T15:51:00.001-05:00

So, once again, I've disappeared from the interwebs. I have a really good excuse though...I'm writing. Yes, the dreaded "W" word. I'm determined to have something to present at the Lori Foster Event this year. Last year it was about meeting Nalini Singh & having fun. This year is about being a "serious author." *snorts* Me? Serious? Pfft

We had a lovely Christmas. Spent it with the family. Had a peaceful, relaxing day. I think those are my favorite kind of holidays. :) Got some lovely gifts from the family & got a horrible cold. Coopy was miserable all day Christmas & he passed the lovely germs on to me. I was out sick for two days. In those two days, I could barely get out of bed. What a bummer!

Work's been chaos, which is both good & bad. Good because we're making money; bad because it's causing undue stress. *sigh* Isn't that the way it always goes? I'm tired & cranky. What a way to start the new year. Bleh.

In all honesty, not a ton going on. I didn't get any Christmas stuff off to anyone. That's what happens when you're dealing with chaos. :P

We leave for Portland in about a month. I am so excited I can hardly stand it! I don't miss Portland at all, but I miss my friends horribly. I'm really disappointed in people I thought were friends. I make all the effort & it just gets depressing after awhile. So far Jenna's the only one who's really tried staying in contact. We're keeping each other honest in our writing. I am so blessed with the CP I've been given.

I hope y'all have an amazing new year. I'll try to stay up to date on here, but right now it's all about writing. Wish me luck! :)

So Much

2011-11-27T19:51:00.001-05:00

Sometimes I feel like I'm continually running in circles. I have no idea why I get that feeling. It could be that even though we've been here almost nine months, it still feels like I'm not settled. I don't know why I feel this way. I've had vacation time. Holidays. Great trips. But, I still feel like I'm not here yet. I dunno how else to explain it.

I don't miss Portland at all. In fact, I think it would be downright weird to go back. Michigan is home now. I love it here, which still surprises me. I would like to go back to see my friends.

You know, friendship is a strange thing. The people I thought I would be friends with here, didn't. The ones I wasn't sure of, did. You can never tell who will be a true friend until you move 2400 miles away from them. All I can say is thank goodness for the internet and texting. Without those two things...well, I dunno what would happen. :)

I had a wonderful Thanksgiving. Spent it over at my brother & SIL's house. My SIL & her mother are amazing cooks, so we got the ultimate dinner. It was epic in its deliciousness. :D

One of my coworkers was there too. He came with us from Portland when we moved back here. It's temporary, but he's already been here 9 months & doesn't see when he'll be able to go back home. My family's kind of adopted him while he's here, inviting him to any & all holidays that he's here. Thankfully he's able to go back to Portland for Christmas. I think it'll do him a world of good to be with his family for that holiday.

We have a very...odd relationship. Antagonistically flirtatious would be the best way to describe it. We flirt, but I can't take him seriously. He's a bit of a douche when it comes to women. 99% of his problem is that he's a Russian male. There's something about Russian men...I don't think I've met any other people who are so...arrogant. Don't get me wrong, I've had wonderful friends who are Russian and I'm not dissing them. I'm just stating that they tend to be very arrogant. And the men are very chauvinistic and it drives me nuts. I'm not a women's libber by any means, but I absolutely hate being dictated to and he's the king of it.

I'm obsessed with Florence + the Machine's Ceremonials. It's hand's down one of the best LPs I've ever heard...and that's saying something. :)

It's hard to choose a favorite song from this CD, but this is probably it. Her voice is just...wow. Check out the whole CD. Trust me, you won't be disappointed. :)

Time to get ready for bed. I'm pooped and need to get up for work in the morning. Why do long weekends always go by so quickly? *sigh*

Song I'm Addicted To

2011-11-19T23:19:00.001-05:00

I've said it before & I'll say it again: I HATE TWILIGHT! *ahem* That being said, I absolutely LOVE this song from the Twilight: Eclipse Soundtrack. Beck & Bat For Lashes "Let's Get Lost."

Eep!

2011-11-19T22:48:00.001-05:00

Y'all, I've been VERY remiss in my blogging. *ducks* Obviously, you know that, but I took a little vacation from 99% of the interwebs. Just a lot of stuff going on and needed some me time.

Not to worry. Things are great! Well, as great as they can be at the moment. :) Work's good. Family's good. I've got a killer headache, but that's par for the course. Bleh!

Lots of holiday stuff coming up. Went to a lovely dinner at the church my parents started attending. It was a ladies night and we had it catered from an Italian restaurant in Plymouth. And y'all? Some of the best Italian food I've ever had! It was just fun! :) I admit I haven't been the most social of people here, so it was nice to get out and have some fun.

Next week is Thanksgiving already. Time certainly does fly by. It'll be family & one of the coworkers who came back here with us from Portland. All of his family's back there, so we've basically adopted him while he's here. He's good people, so we should have a good time. Plus, my SIL is cooking and she's amazing! Makes the best turkey I've ever had. :)

I might actually be able to go back to Portland next year. I got my bonus today. Shocked is what I was. I thought my SIL was bluffing when she told me how much it was. :) So, I'll sock 90% of it into savings and go back next year. Yay! I miss my friends. I don't miss Portland at all, except for the food. The food here? Sucks! :(

My writing is getting back on track. My CP is kicking my butt. I'm kicking hers too, so we'll both hopefully have something concrete done sooner rather than later. That's the plan anyway. :D

That's really all I've got right now. Life is good for the most part. Blogging will come and go. We'll see what next year brings for me in the blogging front.

Ciao!

yawn

2011-10-25T21:06:00.001-04:00

Y'all, I'm pooped!!!! It's only Tuesday night, but it feels like it should be Friday! *sigh*

Got done with my laundry about an hour ago. Am now just sitting here relaxing for a bit before I go to bed. At least I got a half hour of OT today. My paycheck will thank me. :)

I honestly don't have tons to say. Busy working. My life, it is exciting, no? :P

Disappearing Act

2011-10-19T19:33:00.003-04:00

I certainly seem to be good at them. *sigh*

I had such good intentions at the beginning of this year. I planned on posting at least once a week; more if I could swing it. I'm lucky if it's once a month. :(

Chaos reigns in my neck of the woods. Busy, busy, busy. When I started this job, I had no idea what I was getting into. I love the fact that I'm always busy, but there are days when it just seems like too much. *yawns*

I have plans with my SIL on Friday. We were talking about going to a movie, but we're both a bit strapped at the moment for fundage, so we'll probably get some dinner & then come back to my place to watch a movie. It'll do her good to get out of the house for a bit. :)

I've kind of disappeared on the social media front. I haven't been on Twitter for awhile and am hardly ever on Facebook under this name. It's a shame, but I think I just got sooooo overwhelmed with trying to keep up with it all. I just kind of ran away. Shame on me! I'll get back to it; I always do.

I really need to get back into my writing. I'm so brain dead. It's kind of pathetic. I've got a great story percolating in my braincells. It's just getting it from there to the page. Bleh.

I'm tired, I'm cranky & I'm PMSing. Not a good combo at any time. I think I'm gonna go plays Sims 2 and chill for a bit before bed. Night!!!!

Anxiety Sucks

2011-10-07T23:50:00.000-04:00

*sigh*

Anxiety is so not my friend. I get hit with it every now & then. Have no idea where it comes from or why. All of a sudden...smacked sideways. Boo!

Things are crazy busy right now. Work is nuts, which is good. Feel like I'm running in circles going nowhere, but at least I'm getting somewhere. Ha!

Rolled over my right big toe with a pallet jack. For those of you who don't know what it is...um, let me see if I can explain. A pallet jack is a funky looking thing that lifts pallets off the floor. It's hydraulic. Weighs about 200 pounds (give or take). I didn't break anything, but the whole upper left side of my foot is a beautiful shade of purple. *headdesk* Coordinated I am not.

Went to the laundromat on Monday to do my laundry. As I was waiting for my clothes to dry, this super yummy guy comes over to where I was sitting and starts taking his clothes out of the dryer next to mine. We made eye contact a couple of times. He finally says hi. I say hi back. And then what do I do? I clam up. *headdesk* I am such a dork! Argh! It's called flirting for a reason, doofus. >:( So, here's hoping I see him again and can maybe, kinda, sorta get my flirt on...whatever that is.

I am sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo beyond tired. I have to be over at my brother & SIL's sometime tomorrow to watch the boys overnight. They're going up to Kitchner, Ontario for church. The church I grew up in has branches all over the world. Kitchner or Chicago are the two closest. I'd much rather go to Kitchner, myself.

I finally got my driver's license. Took me long enough. Sadly, I still have Oregon plates. That are expired. Argh! Let me tell you, dealing with the Oregon DMV is a royal pain. I lost the title to my car, so have to get that before I can get my plates. Yes, I should have done this months ago. Honestly, with everything that's been going on since we got back here, I kinda forgot about it. Yes, I'm an idiot. So, every day before I leave my apartment, I say a prayer that police are blinded to my car. Sounds stupid, but y'all? I cannot afford a ticket. I can barely afford to get my title. *headdesk*

My birthday money went to sad stuff like buying groceries. I know!!! But, I got hit with some unexpected bills and had to pay those. So, I promised myself that I would treat myself when I have a little bit of extra fundage.

I need to write. I keep telling myself that. I want something to pitch at next year's Lori Foster Event, but I've hit a wall. It's a wall of my own making, but it's still a wall. Plus I'm editing a book for a friend's husband. It's not easy to edit, work full time and try to write. I need to stop making excuses though. Honestly, it's not that hard. Pfft. Or so I tell myself. *eyeroll*

And that's all. I'm pooped, my foot hurts and I need to go to bed. I've got to clean the apartment tomorrow before I leave, so I'm not scrambling to do it late Sunday night when I get home. Wish me luck!

2011-09-28T21:24:00.000-04:00

I'm trying the so-called new & improved blogger. We'll see how it goes.

I'm doing...eh. It's been a very physical work week and I'm pooped. Thankfully I have 2 more days to go. Sadly, I'm babysitting my nephews on Saturday while my brother & SIL work. I don't mind watching the boys, but I need the weekend to recharge my batteries! My batteries are beyond empty, so I dunno how I'm going to do. *sigh*

I'm on a major budget crunch right now. Some unexpected finances have come along and kind of kicked my butt. I'm surviving and am okay, but I cannot afford any extras right now. No books, no nothing. *sniffle*

I got a bunch of dust into my sinuses at work today, so my head's not too happy with me right now. I've really got to start wearing a mask or something, but they make me sweat even more than usual. So, ew!

I really need to get back to writing. I have something great going on right now, but with everything that's going on right now, it's hard to find the gumption to do it. Bleh! Wow, I'm just a giant ball of whee tonight, aren't I? lol

And honestly that's about all I've got. Tired, cranky...um, I think that about says it. Yay! Pfft.

PMS Sucks & Other Things

2011-09-26T19:41:00.000-04:00

*sigh*

On that note...Thursday was my birthday. I'd taken Thursday & Friday off kind of as a gift to myself. I NEVER work on my birthday if I can help it. My mom & I made plans to have a girl day, which is an extremely rare occasion.

She came & picked me up. We went to a bunch of thrift stores to see if we could find any stuff for me to buy for decoration purposes. No such luck. As we were driving to the restaurant, I remembered this cool little antique store/craft shop one of my coworkers told me about. It's almost like a flea market. All kinds of crafters & such have little booths where they display their wares. I found a gorgeous pillow for my living room, so the day wasn't a total bust. :)

We went to lunch at a buffet and just had a great time. Thursday night we had dinner over at my brother & SIL's. Friday was my brother's birthday, so we had a combo thingy. My SIL made tacos and it was just nice. Since I moved out, I don't see my nephews all the time, so it was nice to catch up with them. :)

The rest of the weekend I was basically a lazy bum. I did pretty much absolutely nothing and it was divine! My eldest nephew came over and spent part of the afternoon with me. He's so big and such a cutie. He started kindergarten this year and seems to be doing well.

I'm basically doing not much of anything right now. I keep meaning to write, but by the time I get home from work I'm beyond braindead. I need to work on that a bit.

And that's about it. Eesh. My life is boring. Sometimes that's not a bad thing. :)

Stuff & Things & Such

2011-09-17T12:55:00.001-04:00

Oy.

So, I kinda dropped off the face of the earth again, didn't I? *sigh* I can only say that I've been doing a lot of thinking. Sometimes I think that's a bad thing.

My birthday is on Thursday. I'll be 35. Sometimes it's very difficult for me to fathom that I'm in my mid-3o's. When did that happen? Seems like just yesterday I was a horribly awkward teenager. Now I'm a horribly awkward adult. :P

I've also been struggling with...not necessarily depression, but a feeling of failure. When I think about my life, I can't really say why exactly I feel this way. I think 99% of it is my job. My brother is my boss. It's not easy working with family, especially when they don't want to tell you something in fear that they'll hurt your feelings. I explain to him over and over again that at work he's my boss, not my brother, but that doesn't seem to have penetrated. It's frustrating when he finally does tell me I'm doing something wrong, but it's been going on for weeks. Obviously if I haven't fixed it, I don't realize I'm doing said thing wrong. I finally got a bit snippy & told him that if he wanted me to fix something he had to tell me right away. No more holding it in and letting me screw up over and over and over again. Argh!!!!!!!!

So, that's been my biggest struggle lately. The apartment is doing well. It's a bit of a disaster at the moment, but it's feeling more like home. My upstairs neighbors are annoying to say the least. They walk around like a herd of elephants. Thud, thud, thud. *sigh* This usually happens between 11 and 2 am. Blech!

I need to go shopping for jeans. The ones I wear to work are getting seriously worn out. One pair has a giant hole in the upper inside thigh. No flashing, please! HA!

The plants my mom bought me are still alive; a bit of a minor miracle. Black thumb is the usual route. Heh.

And really, that's about all. Definitely looking forward to my 4-day weekend next week. Just time to chill. My mom's taking me out, which will be nice. :)

Have a great weekend, y'all!

sigh

2011-09-10T01:25:00.000-04:00

It seems that no matter how good I think I'm doing, I'm never doing good enough. And that about says it all, I think.

I'm Trying

2011-08-20T20:58:00.000-04:00

I really am.

My mom and I had a discussion not that long ago about me. Depression runs in my family to a ridiculous extent. I know for myself that I've struggled with it for years. I've always been afraid to get diagnosed for it though; more out of fear than anything. I don't want to be on drugs for the rest of my life. But, there are some days when I think that would be better than what I'm dealing with at the moment.

As y'all know from reading my sad dating history that dating hasn't been a part of my life in a long time. I'm usually okay with that, especially now that I've gotten out on my own and am...free. But, there are days when it really, really sucks. It makes me wonder what it is about me that turns men off.

I know I'm not perfect. I'm heavier than I should be. I'm also tall. And smart. But, you would think there would be that ONE man out there who was actually into me. *sigh* Moving to Michigan has been a bit depressing. Detroit is going thru a serious depression. The men who are available are either in jail, just out of jail or going into to jail. I'm over exaggerating, but not by much.

It wasn't much better in Portland where so much of the male population was gay. Some days I wonder if I will EVER find the right man for me.

Getting married isn't really a priority for me, but I would like to have at least one blazing love affair in my lifetime. With the way things are going, I don't think it'll be in my lifetime. Maybe I need to travel around the world to find that guy. It would be nice if I had the funds to do so, but I think it's pretty unlikely to happen anytime in the near future.

I know, I know, I'm such a pessimist. Shame on me. :( Sometimes I think a woman is allowed to feel that way. It's been five years since I've been on a date or been kissed or...well, anything. Sad, huh?

Oy

2011-08-17T20:01:00.000-04:00

I've come to the conclusion that I don't fit into the usual mold. Ha! Like that's a surprise to anyone who's read my blog over the years.

I tried (tried being the operative word) to watch the Twilight movies. I read the first three books in the series. However, they made me so angry and frustrated that I gave up after Eclipse. After hearing what people had to say about Breaking Dawn, I'm glad I did.

But that's not the point of this entry. This entry is about the movies and what I think. Be prepared to want to kick me. It's not going to be pretty.

#1. Kristin Stewart cannot act...or should I say, she can't act in these movies. Everything is stuttered or muttered. You can barely understand a word she says. Not only that, but she makes Bella even more annoying than she was in the books. And that's saying something!

#2. I don't get the appeal of Robert Pattinson. I think I'm the only female in America who's not totally in love with him. He's creepy looking! And not only when he plays Edward. I just don't see the appeal.

#3. I'll probably go to hell for saying this, but Taylor Lautner's body? Yowza!!! Can he act? Eh...but the eye candy he dishes out is quite nice. Ew! Now I've gotta go take a shower.

#4. The "sparkle effect?" Ha! Oh, dude, I laughed so hard when that came on the screen. How on earth can you take that seriously??? Sheesh!

#5. Eh...I don't have anything else. Just the fact that I watched part of Twilight shocks me. I'm not a fan. There are vampire romances out there that are SO much better. They don't make the heroine a whiny crybaby who's entire life's purpose is to die so she can be with her man. AND they don't make the hero into a creepy stalker-like person who dictates who the heroine can talk to. Thanks, but no thanks.

Quickish Post

2011-08-16T20:46:00.000-04:00

Oy, talk about a lot of nonsense & such. Am finally settled into my apartment. What a nightmare! All I can say is thank goodness for my family. Without them I'd probably be in tears and such still.

The day I moved in, I did a super-quick walk-through of my apartment. The one I saw originally got rented out from under me & I hadn't seen my actual apartment. It seemed okay, so I went in & signed my lease. We moved in on Friday night because everyone had plans for the weekend & all.

My SIL (who is an angel), stayed late Friday night to help me at least get the basics taken care of. However, as we were going thru stuff, we began to notice stuff. The smell was the biggest issue. The previous tenant smoked and had a cat. Blech! Also, they hadn't cleaned the apartment AT ALL, so we spent almost 2 hours just doing that. I won't tell you what I found, because it's disgusting, but suffice it to say...I was pissed.

Monday I went into the office and ranted. Made a big to-do about it. Apologies, etc, but I didn't get any satisfaction out of the deal. :( Boxes and bins were piled up to the ceiling (or so it seemed) and I admit I was horribly overwhelmed. My mom & SIL came over the following Saturday and helped me fully unpack and basically make my apartment into a home. I don't have any pictures at the moment because it's still not...perfect, but it's now liveable. Huzzah!

I got internet & cable this past weekend, which is great! I'm able to record and watch shows I haven't been able to see in a long time. I'm writing because I have a dining room table (that I got for free! yay!) and can sit here to write.

Work's been crazy and kind of unpleasant lately, but thankfully that seems to be calming down a bit. Overall, life is finally normal again. I have to admit that being in my own space is both good and bad. Good, because I make my own rules & don't have to worry about anyone else. Bad, because now I have to clean AND grocery shop. Blech! It's really hard to figure out what tastes good. I don't cook...at all. I've gotta learn how to at least use the crock pot. lol

And that's about it. I know, this is short & sweet, but there's honestly not a whole lot going on. I would like to paint somewhere in the near future and get some stuff for the walls. My poor walls are so bare. I have these great Euro shams, but need to buy the pillows to put in them. Bleh...obviously I have a ton of plans. Will they come to fruition? Maybe. :)

Ack!

2011-07-24T18:47:00.000-04:00

Sheesh! So much happening & yet I feel like time is going by so very slowly. *sigh*

Let's see...what all's been going? Well, I got really, really lucky & found a dining set at a garage sale that was FREE!!! Yes, you heard me right. :D It's not in awesome shape, but it's still sturdy & will do me for now. Seems like everything is just falling into place. Hallelujah! :)

I move in on Friday. I've got just about everything I need. There's a few things I need (garbage cans...oy), but at this point it's mostly decorative stuff and things. I'll know more when I finally get into the apartment. It's at that point where I think I know all that's going on, but I'm sure I'm missing something. *sigh*

I was laid up last week. A week ago Friday my right hip...did something weird. By Tuesday I was in absolute agony. :( So, I went into Urgent Care & had them look at it. They took x-rays and all, but couldn't find anything wrong with it. But, the doctor put me on an anti-inflammatory and gave me a pass for work Weds-Fri. So, I basically did nothing. It sucks, but I feel MUCH better today. The anti-inflammatory knocks me out, so I've dropped to taking it just once a day instead of twice.

I'm so excited and SO glad to be getting out of my parents house. I can't even begin to tell ya. So, at this point it's just waiting for Friday. I'm getting off at noon. I've gotta go to the bank to get out the funds, go get a money order, take it in, sign my lease & get my keys. My SIL offered to come over after work on Friday to help me with the small stuff. My brother and at least one guy from work are helping me on Saturday with the big stuff. I'm so lucky that I've got people who'll be able to help me.

I haven't had to buy household stuff/groceries in years, so my mom's going with me for my first foray. I just know I'm going to forget something if I don't have someone with experience with me. :) I have so many things I want to learn how to do cooking-wise. I've got a couple of great cookbooks, a George Foreman Grill & a CrockPot. If I can't keep myself fed...well, I'm screwed. lol

Anything else? Hmm...I don't think so. Just have to start packing up this week after work. I'm so glad I've got a lot of decorative baskets and such already, so I won't have to worry too much about storage. It's just getting the stuff to the house. Blech!

I'm listening to this musical group my dad told me about. I don't really know how to describe what type of music they are, but all I can say is wow. Kind of bluegrass, but also popish as well. They harmonize like whoa. The group is called Wailin' Jennys and the CD is Bright Morning Star. There's one song that's completely acapella that is amazing. I can sing, but not like this. I'm just in awe.

And now I'm off. Want to just chill for awhile before going into work tomorrow. The BIG boss is in town, so yeah. Anyhoodles...later! :)

An Extended Version of the Previous Post

2011-07-15T19:51:00.000-04:00

Where to begin? :) I know I've only been doing these quick fly-by posts lately & I hate it. I wish I could write more. I could, but I'm just so tired! *yawns*

Work has been insane. We're so far ahead of schedule it's ridiculous. Not only that, but we only have a skeleton crew & we're still kicking butt. I can only imagine what it will be like when we're fully established. *sigh*

I did get my apartment. I put in my application last Sunday and actually found out Monday morning. I checked my credit report before I applied, just to see where I was. Back when the fiasco of living with my pseudo friend (yeah, right) fell apart, I was in severe, dire financial straights. It was so bad that I was afraid I'd never see the light at the end of the tunnel.

But, with a lot of hard work and such, I've built up my credit to the point where I'm in very good standing. I'm so proud of myself. It's been a horrible struggle. I've had to make a lot of sacrifices. I had to live with my parents, for pity's sake! Don't get me wrong, I love them, but I'm almost 35 and I want to live my OWN life, thankyouverymuch.

I knew this move to Michigan was going to be a lifesaver for me. I didn't realize just how much until we actually got back here. I don't even think of the Pacific Northwest as home anymore, because it's not.

Yes, I have a lot of wonderful memories back there...but I also have a lot of very negative ones. Moving to Michigan was the chance for me to start afresh. The chance to start all over again in a place where not a single soul knows me. Not very many people get that opportunity.

The cost of living back here is SO much cheaper than it was in Oregon. The income tax is almost nil and so when I get paid, I'm actually getting PAID. :) Yay me! lol

There's just so much going on, it's crazy. My mom actually just came into my room a few minutes ago, set a box down on the floor and said "happy housewarming." She bought me a vacuum cleaner! How sweet is she? It's a really nice Hoover too, which is awesome. Now I don't have to try to figure that into my budget. :)

The only big thing I need now is a dining room set. I only have a small alcove where I can set one up. I found a bistro-style set I really liked at KMart. It's $199 and they have layaway there. Hmm...well, I guess we'll see what happens.

I can paint in my apartment, so I've been contemplating paints and such. It's very exciting for me. It's my first chance to make a place completely, 100% mine; no commentary or anything from anyone. I'm lucky that my previous job was in textiles, because I have most of my decorative pillows & throws already. *sigh* It's a dream come true.

I promise to take before & after pictures for y'all. I'm moving in two weeks from today, people!!! EEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Super Quick

2011-07-15T12:26:00.000-04:00

typing this on my phone. just a quick fly by post to say i got the apartment and will be moving in two weeks from today. super excited and also completely overwhel?ed at the moment. will write more tonight.

So Much

2011-07-09T19:49:00.000-04:00

Honestly, everything's happening so quickly. It always seems to happen like that, doesn't it? :)

Went & looked at an apartment today. I think it's the "one", so will be putting in my application tomorrow. Super excited and yet completely freaked out at the same time. Eek! It's a 2 bedroom/1 bath for $635 a month. It's in a HUGE complex and it just feels right. I hope I'm right. :D

Things are going great. Got a bonus at work. Um, what else? Read some excellent books lately. So happy I'm getting my reading mojo back. Need to send off some emails to friends that I've been unintentionally neglecting.

Super excited with life right now. I hope it stays that way for awhile.

I'm Alive...I Think

2011-07-06T21:43:00.000-04:00

The weather is hot & humid here. Not as bad as say...Florida, but still, not something I'm used to. The humidity wipes me out, so I'm zonked once I get home from work.

There's so much going on, but sadly can't talk about 99% of it since it pertains to work. *sigh* Um, but am looking at an apartment on Saturday! Huzzah! Plus, am selling my car to a coworker & buying a new one. Yay!

I'll try to blog tomorrow. Just wanted y'all to know I'm alive. Ciao!

My Fan Letter

2011-06-29T03:00:00.000-04:00

For the second year in a row, Kassa from 3am, has set up the Fan Letter Blog Crawl. I participated last year & had a blast. Am super glad I can go again this year. Literary Escapism wrote hers yesterday, mine is today & Orannia's is tomorrow! Huzzah!

I hemmed & hawed over whom I would choose. Would it be Nalini Singh whom I adore? LaVyrle Spencer for writing my all-time favorite book? Mercedes Lackey for her Valdemar series? Hmmm....

But, as time progressed, I realized I knew exactly who to write to. So, my letter below...

Dear Lauren Dane,

I figured I would write this to you & tell you how much I enjoy your writing. I only came across your books a few years ago, but have read just about every single one. I love the Cascadia Wolves series & such, but it's your Brown Sibling series that does it for me. You write some of the hottest heroes out there. Rough & tumble, but so unbelievably hot, especially around the heroines.

The emotions you evoke in these stories just about rips me apart. The sex is amazing, the romance is gorgeous & the stories are just fun to read. I wish I could articulate why I love these books so much, but sometimes just saying they're good is good enough. :)

Sincerely,

Your Devoted Reader

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!! thuds

2011-06-05T20:41:00.000-04:00

So, this weekend was a trip and 3/4s...in the best possible way. :) Remember how I said I was going to the Lori Foster Event? Well, I did & it was amazing!

I left Friday morning around 8:45 to go pick up my rental car. The event was down near Cincinnati, which is about a 4 hour drive. I didn't want to risk my poor old car on the trip, so I rented a car. It's a gorgeous, spankin' new Chevy Impala, which is just yummy! If I had the money, it would be my new car. :) Drove smooth as butter. *sigh*

Anyhoodles, got down to the Event around 1ish and went to check into my room. I was up on the 7th floor, so I got some lunch and then went up to my room. I dropped my bags on the floor and chilled out for a bit.

My Twitter friends were all on their way & when some of them arrived, they made mention on Twitter that they were going to be meeting up in the lobby. I sent a message telling them what I was wearing & the next thing I knew, I was talking to Mandi (smexybooks) and Belinda (bellie7) who were as sweet as can be. We went to sit down and just a few seconds later, Kati from katidom was coming down with her friend, LeAnn (hope I'm spelling that right).

We chatted for a bit and then Stacy showed up (trelaina). Lots of squeeing & hugging ensued, which rocked! lol

Friday is honestly a blur. We registered & got all that stuff done. Found a table, had dinner, & basically went deaf. It's amazing how loud 400+ people can be. Ha!

I got up to wander around & well, that's when it happened! We made eye contact, screaming was involved & then we were giving each other a giant bear hug. Yes, I am talking about Nalini Singh! *faints* She is sooooo sweet! I've "known" her for what seems like forever & it was amazing to actually meet her face-to-face. We chatted for a few, but she was surrounded by industry peeps, so I left her.

I turned around & saw Dana Marie Bell sitting at a table. We had a squee moment & then started talking. This was about 7ish. Somewhere along the line we decided to go to the bar and well, 5 or so hours later we finally decided to go to bed. lol. It was just awesome! She's hysterically funny & so cool! *sigh*

Got up to my room around 12:30 & was so hyped up I couldn't sleep. Ugh! So, I read for a bit and finally fell asleep around 2. Got up at 7:45 and got dressed, before going downstairs. Kati had found the room where Nalini was scheduled to give an intimate chat & was holding seats, so I grabbed some breakfast & found my chair.

The chat was great! No spoilers (poo!), but a lot of insight into her writing & such. Katiebabs will be disappointed to know that we couldn't get her to tell us if Kaleb will get a book (poo!), but she did go into a bit of detail about the current story arc and her plans for when that particular arc is over. More of the hawk shifters & such, so that's super exciting! :)

After the chat, we all kind of dispersed & went about our own business. I ended up talking to a bunch of different people, which was great! I got to meet Shiloh Walker and so many other authors. It was pretty nuts! After lunch I went up to my room for awhile to get away from the noise & try to take a nap (sadly THAT didn't happen...poo!). I had already gotten the signatures I wanted, so just chilled for awhile.

When it came time for dinner, most of the girls went to PF Chang's, but I didn't have a lot of extra money, so stayed for the dinner with Bells. As we were eating, Nalini came up with Leah from Sourcebooks (I can't remember how to spell her last name) and asked if she could sit with us. Well, of course they could, so they sat down with us. I moved closer because I honestly couldn't hear them.

I got to ask Leah so many questions, which rocked. She's an editor and was able to give me some great tips on things like pitching & just about everything else a newbie author usually does wrong. lol. So, I learned a great deal & hope it helps me out.

After dinner, Nalini excused herself and I went upstairs to take a sleeping pill. With so few hours of sleep the night before, I was zonked & really needed some sleep. Came back downstairs & chatted for a bit with others, before calling it a night around 10 & crashing upstairs.

Throughout the day they called the winners of the raffle. I won a great prize offered up by Monica Burns. I got to chat with her for awhile. She's a hoot (just a fyi).

Got up this morning & took off. So, there's my weekend in a nutshell. I'm exhausted & exhilarated all at once. Below are some of my pics. I hope you enjoy! :)

Liza, Stacy, Me, JA Saare & Bells

Me & Stacy

Me & Liza

Me & JA Saare

The view from my room at twilight

Me & Monica Burns

Me & the "Men"

My winnings! :)

Me & Nalini

I'm Alive! Honestly! Ha!

2011-05-11T18:48:00.000-04:00

Truly, I am. Super, super busy. Kinda braindead. VERY tired!

Going to Lori Foster's Writer/Reader get together next month!!!! I'm so excited! Get to meet a bunch of people I've "known" for a long time, but never actually met. AND...get this....Nalini Singh Will Be There! *happy dance* Oh, happiest of joys! :)

And that's all for the moment. Ciao!!!

Fly-By Post

2011-04-26T19:28:00.000-04:00

A super-quickie. I'm good. Super-duper busy and such, but good. My toe's healed (yay) and all that good stuff.

Saturday I went out with my SIL. Got about 6 inches or so of hair cut off and my stylist thinned it out too. Only took her an hour and a half, which is a record for fastest hair cut EVER!!!! After we did that, we did some shopping. Shame on me. But, I needed to buy some shorts for work 'cuz the hot weather's coming upon us (whimper) and my brother advised me I could. So, I did. And y'all? I bought a size I haven't worn since my early 20's!!!!! Whoot! Color me thrilled. :D

Sunday was good. I spent most of the afternoon playing with my nephews. Well, Dylan played "Angry Birds" on my I-Pod while Coopy & I played. lol. All in all it was a great day.

I hope to write a decent post soon. I'm just so braindead by the time I get home, I'm lucky I can remember my own name. Not only that, but I'm inspired and have been writing. Yay!

PS...I bought "21" by Adele. One of the best albums I've heard in a LONG time. Just amazing. :)

Ouchies!

2011-04-14T18:55:00.000-04:00

I hurt myself at work yesterday. *headdesk* And sadly? It was completely & totally my fault. *sigh*

I was moving a pallet (wooden slat thing) and it ricocheted off my foot. Ripping up a piece of my big toenail. So, now I've got a very big ouchie on my right toe. Makes wearing shoes and such a pain, let me tell ya. *sigh*

Other than that, things are good. I'm tired (surprise) and such, but that's pretty typical. Pigging out on Reese's Peanut Butter Cups (minis) cuz they're good and I'm seriously PMSing y'all. Not that you needed to know that. Ha!

So, I'm wallowing in misery. Cranky. Tired. Bloated. The usual. Heh

Yawn

2011-04-12T18:50:00.000-04:00

Boy, oh, boy. I am so tired! One thing I can say about this job is that it is physical and the days are long. But, I'm getting buff!! I have biceps for the first time in eons. lol

Things are going well though. Work's great. My relationship with my family is the best it's been in a long time. I really like it here. We're finally settling into our groove...I think. lol

Still don't have any gumption to read. I can't seem to get my brain to focus. My writing's nonexistent as well, which sucks. It'll all come back though. I've got a lot going on in my brain right now, which is making it hard to think. *sigh*

Nalini Singh is coming to Chicago in JUNE!!! *happy dance* I'm hoping I'll be able to go to the signing. I'd so love to finally meet her in person. :)

I've had this sinus thing since I got here. It's getting old. Thankfully, Alka-Seltzer makes this amazing sinus remedy, which is actually helping me. I'm feeling much better, but am getting tired of blowing my nose every five minutes. :P

Cooper fell down the basement steps last weekend and busted his collarbone. He jumped the steps and hit hard. He has to wear a brace for the next few weeks. For a 3 year old, he's doing really good. He refers to his arm as his friend Ouchie. lol

And that's about all. I'm going to go play some brainless entertainment and then it'll be off to bed. Ciao!!

sigh

2011-04-04T19:21:00.000-04:00

It's a dreary day here in Livonia. The weather's been pretty consistent for being kind of bleh, but the sun usually comes out sometime during the day. Not so much these last couple of days.

Work's been crazy busy. We're way ahead of schedule though, so the "big" boss is very happy with us. I've been making boxes like they're going out of style. My hands just plain ache. :(

I've got a ton of books to read, but no gumption to read them. By the time I get home at night, I'm pooped. The last thing I want to do is focus. Heh. So, reading hasn't been much of a necessity recently. I'm hoping it'll change soon, because I miss books!

Sometime soon I'd like to go exploring. I haven't done so yet.

Saturday was Cooper's 3rd birthday. We went bowling & then had tacos for dinner. Cooper may only be 3, but he's extremely precocious and very verbal. He's a chatterbox. lol. He's also a little stinker, but he's so cute you can't stay mad at him for long. :)

There's so much I could talk about on here, but honestly it's like my brain's blank. I can't seem to keep a thought in my head for very long. Right now my biggest concern is getting out on my own. I need to contact my mom's real estate guru and have him get the ball rolling. I don't even know where to begin. I hope to be out within the next few months. Thankfully the income tax here is less than a third of what Portland's was, so I get bigger paychecks. Yay!

I'm off. Going to go chill out for a bit before it's time to go to bed. Have a great day, y'all!

I'm Alive!

2011-04-01T23:28:00.000-04:00

And finally got access to the interwebs. Guess how? Thru my 'droid phone of all things. Yay!

It's been a long, drawn out process, but we're finally all moved in to the house. Work's been insanely busy and I'm tired. Right now I'm just trying to keep my brain functioning. So far...not so good. Heh.

Where Do I Begin?

2011-03-19T21:38:00.000-04:00

I don't even know what to say or how to start tellin' y'all what a nightmare this move has been. Move...Ha! All right, let me start at the beginning.

So three weeks ago today we moved out of our house in Portland and moved into a hotel for a week. The move was a bit surreal, but I was happy to get it started. We were supposed to have a large group of people helping out on the move, but that didn't happen. It ended up being my dad, brother and three other guys. Moved out 2 houses in one day. Oy!

We moved into the hotel and I ended up having to share a room with my parents for two nights. That was not fun. lol. My dad & SIL took off that Monday to drive back to Livonia. My SIL has difficulties flying due to sinus issues and my dad likes to drive, so off they went. They got to Livonia on that Thursday.

I started work that Monday at my new job. The big boss wanted me to start in Portland to get an idea what I was supposed to be doing in Livonia. So, I started. It wasn't anywhere near as hard as I thought it would be. Don't get me wrong, it's very physical and I'm on my feet all day, but the day flies by super fast and all that good stuff.

That Saturday my mom, brother, nephews and I flew back. We had a direct flight from Portland to Minneapolis. I've never flown before in my life, so that was a trip. I had a mini-freak out on the first take off, but the first landing and the flight to Detroit was fine. Minneapolis is gorgeous! At least, the airport is. Ha! The flight to Minneapolis was super-smooth. Once we got up in the clouds there was nothing but blue sky. No turbulence at all. It was only when we were landing in Detroit that we hit any. It was snowing and windy, so we shimmied quite a bit, but the landing was fine.

While we were living in the hotel in Portland, we found out that Chase had quite literally screwed us all over. The loan officer who was working on both my parents and brother's loans for their houses had told them that everything was just fine and that the houses would close about the time we got into Livonia. Well, he lied. Turns out that the loans couldn't be transferred from Portland to Michigan, so we had to start the entire process all over again. Yes, we are still living in a hotel. But, we're all moving in on Monday. We've got the keys and all that good stuff.

I walked through my parents house with my mom yesterday. As we pulled up to the house and got out, we heard this warbling noise. We looked around and up in the tree was a cardinal. We don't have cardinals in Portland, so we looked at it as a sign that it was welcoming us home. :) The house is really cute and totally my mom. It makes me feel slightly claustrophobic in certain areas, but I will only be living there for a short time, so I'll make do. :D

I can't begin to tell you how much I love it here. The people are very nice and the air is so clean. It was only in the mid-teens when we arrived, but spring is definitely in the air. I've been sick since we got here with a sinus/bronchial thing, but it's getting better. I'd like to cut out my throat though. It hurts. :(

I'll be glad to be done with fast food and restaurant food though. It's getting old super fast. Blech!

The hotel we're in is amazing. The staff has been awesome and I've got my own room. A giant whirlpool tub and a king-sized bed. I haven't been sleeping very well due to the cold. But, it's nice to have some space from the rest of the family. Eesh!

We never thought we'd be living in a hotel for three weeks (1 in Portland & 2 here), but we did. We'll be so glad to get into our new houses. I'm tired of living in a hotel!!!!

So, that's why I've been a bit AWOL lately. That and my mom's had my computer all this time. I finally had to take it back. lol. I'll be here more often soon. Miss you all!!!!

Short...And Maybe Sweet

2011-02-28T22:29:00.000-05:00

Huh...I don't think I've ever been this exhausted in my entire life. *yawn*

Saturday I got up at the buttcrack of dawn (6 am) and helped my mom finish packing up stuff so that when the guys showed up in the early afternoon we'd be ready to go. So we did. And y'all, with as much as we purged, you'd think we would be going with a lot less stuff, but we packed a 53 foot trailer with our stuff and my bro & SIL's stuff. Insane.

Got to our hotel rooms about 6ish Saturday night. I got to share a room w/ my parents. It was NOT easy. For one thing, my dad snores. For another? Yeah, not used to people being in my room, so I kept popping awake all night.

Yesterday my mom & I went back to the house to finish cleaning. I vacuumed while my mom did the wiping down of woodwork and such. Took us about 2 1/2 hours (give or take). Got back to the hotel and I went to watch the boys while my brother & SIL went back to their house to finish cleaning. The boys & I conked out and slept for about 2 1/2 hours.

Got up at 6:30 this morning, ate some breakfast, said goodbye to my dad & SIL who are driving back and went to work. Yup, started my new job today. My feet hate me, but I actually had a great time. The guy who's training me is a doll and everyone there was so nice to me.

One of the guys, Eddie, helped us move on Saturday. He's been flirting with me outrageously since then. He'll be coming back to Livonia with us for a few weeks to help out. Nicest guy and very helpful.

Get this...right now? We're homeless. How bizarre is that? Thankfully, the hotel we're staying in is nice. The continental breakfast is divine. Make your own waffles. Yum! There's also a swimming pool.

My mom & I are in a double-queen (2 bed) room on the third floor and my brother and the boys are in the room directly below us. Thankfully, we're surrounded by restaurants and stuff so eating hasn't been a hardship. There's this amazing restaurant right down the street. We ate there on Saturday & Sunday night. Tonight was Burger King because Dylan wanted their chicken strips. I ate a Whopper. Yuck! lol

I'll be working all this week; learning the ropes. I think I've got the basic idea of what I'll be doing initially. The guy training me seemed to be pretty impressed with my speed and stuff, so we'll see. Right now I'm so tired I can barely think straight.

I've got my laptop. Not sure how much I'll be on from this point until after we get to Michigan. I'll be here in spirit at least. :) Ciao!

whimper

2011-02-25T21:46:00.001-05:00

I am SO SORE! Ouchies! My mom woke me up this morning, I ate my breakfast and then I was put to work. My crazy parents got it in their heads that we needed to wipe down the siding on the front & back porches. My dad did the front porch & I was tasked to do the back.

Let me tell ya...that was some hard work! For one thing it's been FREEZING here this week. The East Wind kicked in and with windchill it was 24 degrees outside. I got it done though. My arms, back and hands are KILLING ME! Ouch! :(

Tomorrow we move. Well, move our stuff out of the house anyway. My brother got a bunch of his coworkers to help out. My brother & SIL will be moved first. Then they'll come over here in the early afternoon & pack us up. There's a reason for all this madness, but right now I can't remember what it was. Ha!

My dad took us out to dinner tonight. The 3 of us haven't gone out to dinner together for years, so it was nice. Went to DeNicola's (Italian) and had an amazing feast. I got home and took a hot bubble bath. Now I'm curled up in my jammies trying to stay warm and relax.

We're getting up bright and early tomorrow to bring all of the boxes & tubs out to the living room to make it easier to move it outside. We're all so tired that we'd prefer to just sleep, but sadly we don't have that option. lol

After we get moved, we're staying in a hotel. My dad & SIL are driving out on Monday (depending on the weather) and my brother, nephews, mom & myself will be flying back to Detroit on the 5th. My first time in a plane. Eep!

So, right now it's mostly trying to stay energized and get this done. I start work on Monday at my new job. It'll give me a chance to see what I'm getting myself into. It'll also help me know what I'm doing once we're back in Livonia. Right now I just wanna sleep. Zzzzzz....

If y'all don't see me around this next week, well now you know why. Right now I'm going to go play some Mahjong and try to chill. :)

Two Weeks

2011-02-19T13:48:00.000-05:00

Yup, we'll be flying to Livonia from Portland two weeks from today. I can say that for certain since the plane tickets have already been purchased.

This last week has been very surreal. My parents cleaned out the basement (I wasn't allowed down there due to my cold...asthma, don't you know?). We got a dumpster and all the crap we've accumulated over the years found its way into it. As soon as the dumpster arrived, scavengers started riding by on their bicycles looking to see what we've tossed.

My room is full of nothing but boxes and tubs. I've given away 23 bags of books and am still taking 6 big tubs and four boxes full of books with me. I can't believe how much I purged. I'd say all told close to 500 books made their way to Goodwill. *shakes head*

I have one tub I'm taking to the house with me. It's my I-can't-live-without-them books. Nalini Singh, Ilona Andrews, Lisa Kleypas & Julia Quinn. Books I read over and over again. Maybe 20 books will come with me. The rest will be in storage until I can get my own place. *sigh*

My cold has progressed into a deep, nasty cough. It's asthmatic AGAIN, so my inhaler is following me wherever I go. :( I don't actually have asthma, but every time I get sick it turns into asthmatic symptoms, which really sucks. :( I hate colds.

I got the new Apocalyptica CD. It's AMAZING! Here...take a listen. :)

Nom-Nom-Nom

2011-02-16T00:02:00.000-05:00

Jenna took me out for Thai tonight. Had some yummy deliciousness and promptly felt 50 pounds heavier. lol. It was so delish! She ordered one thing and I ordered another and then we split. Mine was a hodgepodge of different veggies with chicken. Her's was this chicken/shrimp thingy with fried basil leaves on top. So good!

After food we went to Fabric Depot. I wanted to look for fabric for my pillow idea, so off we went. I found the most amazingly gorgeous Dupioni Silk fabric. I got a yard each of this deep royal purple and this red-over-purple. I'm not sure how I want to do it yet, but I know I want pillows out of them. Now, it's off to find bedding! Yay! lol. I've had my eye on a couple. I guess we'll see how finances are and I might do that. Hmm...

Today was all about purging for me. I went through six big plastic bins and knocked 'em down to two. I got rid of ALL of my Beanie Babies except for two (both dragons). Remember when Beanie Babies were all the rage and everyone and their brother had them? Yeah, me too. lol. It was a sickness. But the two I kept are ones I love. One's the Chinese Dragon (my birth sign) and the other is just an ordinary (but cool) dragon.

My mom got rid of my big brown teddy bear. *sniffle* Her name was Honey and I'll miss her very much, but someone else will love her as much as I did. :) I got rid of my Cabbage Patch Kid too. *gasp* Blythe Dodi was her name and I won't miss her as much. Tons of baby clothes that had clothed her. Barbie stuff. Some little girl out there is gonna have a field day. :)

It's becoming more and more real as the days go by. Yesterday it was 2 weeks. Today it's now less than two weeks. I know that sounds weird, but it's true!

Tomorrow it's time to pack up books. I'm REALLY not looking forward to that task. My mom said she'd help me, but now she's not. I'm not so good at the organizing, so I'm worried. But, I have faith I'll get it done. Help! lol

And...that's about it. I took a sleeping pill, so I hope I'll have a good night's sleep. I've been tossing and turning these last few nights. I'm zonked.

Night!

Egads

2011-02-15T01:01:00.000-05:00

Boy, oh boy.

So, guess what I spent the last five days doing? Living through the sinus cold from hell, is what I was doing. *headdesk* All I can say is thank goodness it was now and not a few weeks from now. *sigh* But, it was miserable and I'm so glad it's mostly over. I'm still extremely stuffed up and coughing, but I don't feel like death anymore. Yay!

Good news...I've got a definite date on our departure...finally! Sheesh, it seemed like it was taking forever, but we'll be leaving two weeks from today. My dad & SIL will be driving back since Max (the dog) can't fly back. The rules are that if animals fly, the arrival city's temperature must be 45 or above. Since it hasn't even hit 20 back in Detroit for...oh...months, it's a no-go. So, they'll be driving back. My mom, brother, nephews and me will be flying back on Monday. If all goes as planned, work starts on the 1st of March. Eep!

I'm excited, scared, nervous...just about every emotion I think a person can have. I'd say excited is the most prevalent though. It's about stinkin' time this thing finally kicked into gear. *sigh*

All in all I'm doing good. Glad I'm no longer feeling like death. Now the packing is commencing for real. For so long we were stuck in this crappy holding pattern of not knowing exactly when all of this would take place. Now that we know, it's kicking into high gear.

I went to the beach last Tuesday and it was great. The day was gorgeous and B was great company. I felt like crap, but we spent a few hours down there. Got some great pictures...on the way home. Ha! Yeah, I wasn't up to doing much of anything. But, I did get to say goodbye to a friend who works in Lincoln City, so that was nice.

Now it's on to saying the real goodbyes. No more tentative stuff. This is for reals now. It's so bizarre! I'm still a bit gobsmacked by it all. I think that word describes it best.

So, if you don't see me around much these next few weeks, well, now you know why. Thank you for your comments and stuff. I really appreciate them in the chaos that is my life right now. :)

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

2011-02-06T23:35:00.000-05:00

Long enough title, yeah? I think it says how I feel quite nicely. lol

I'm okay. Really tired & I think I'm coming down with the nasty cold both my mom & nephews have. Blech!

My SIL's last day of work was Friday, so my mom's without the boys. NOW we can focus on packing up the house. Ack! Tomorrow it's cleaning out the closet and kitchen. I get to focus on getting rid of books and such.

I've got a mousie in my room. I was laying on my bed watching a movie last night (with the lights on even) and saw a flash out of the corner of my eye. I kind of shrugged it off at first because...well, I tend to see things. Ha! But, it kept happening. I don't know why it's here. I don't have any food in my room at all. It's driving me batty! I need to get a trap. Ew!

The move is becoming more and more real as each day goes by. My dad's done with his job that he was at for almost 32 years and will be starting his new job tomorrow. I need to go in and observe at least one day to see what on earth I'm getting myself into. *sigh*

I NEED to get in better shape, so my mom & I are going to start walking every day after our lunch break. The warehouse back there is...beyond massive. At least the size of a football field if not bigger, so I'll be walking a lot. Blech!

My "niece" B gave me a $20 gift card to B&N. I went there today and bought a lap desk and a cool little notecard thingamajig. I've been trying to find sarees to make pillows out of, but they're impossible to find. So, I might go to a fabric store and see if I can find some pretty fabric. I've got this idea for my bedroom (when I get my own place, that is) and I'm excited. :)

The craziest part of this whole move thing is the idea that I'll be able to buy my own home. *gasp* Talk about a foreign concept. Well, I hope I'll be able to. If I can't buy, I can at least get a good apartment back there for a LOT less than any out here. Even if that negative "friend" can't see that.

I'm so childish. LOL! After that fiasco, I erased her phone number off my cell. She's still on my friends list on Facebook, but I'm getting ready to get rid of her there too. I don't need any negativity in my life right now. It's all about being positive.

Tuesday I'm driving to the coast with my niece B. She's actually the negative nelly's daughter, so that's kind of awkward, but whatever. B is 100% supportive and that's all that matters to me right now. :)

And that's about it. Watching "Wake Up Sid" for the bazillionth time. It's a great Hindi movie about a young guy who starts out being the spoiled brat son of a wealthy man, but who grows into a good man by the end. I recommend it to anyone. :) AND even though the movies are in Hindi, they do have English Subtitle AND English sentences in them. :D

I hope everyone's doing well. Blogging's going to be very sporadic over the next month or so. *sigh*

PS. I bought a new cell phone!!!!! It's the T-Mobile G2 4G. It's gorgeous and amazing and I'm in love! :)

Huh...

2011-02-01T00:54:00.000-05:00

Today I woke up and went to check my Facebook account...the one under my real name. I signed in and there were a ton of comments on a simple entry I'd put on my page. A person I thought was a friend (Ha!) had put an extremely snarky comment on it and my friends & family jumped in to defend me.

The first comment put on my blog was obnoxious, but I was able to blow it off as this person's typical snarky attitude. However, the ensuing comments were extremely hurtful to me and, though I can't say I'm surprised by the person's actions, I admit they really threw me for a loop.

This person & I haven't really spoken all that much over the last year. To have this random...attack just come out of nowhere like that is what I can't get over. It's bad enough that they said what they did, but to claim they're my friend? I think that's what bothers me the most.

So, I've wiped my hands of this person. I'm done. I don't care anymore. I'm fed up with being the one who keeps trying. It's no longer worth my time and it makes me angry. With all that was said, I wonder what they actually thought of me. The fact they said it? For shame.

Eesh

2011-01-25T18:37:00.001-05:00

Well, I admit; I think life's trying to do me in. lol

Last week was a nightmare of epic proportion. A friend had an emergency and I stepped in to help. That's the kind of person I am. It was...awful, but thankfully, it ended up being better than it could have been.

This week's all about chilling out. I've got stuff to do, but I'm totally broke. Thankfully my W-2 came in today and I was able to file my taxes. All told I'm getting almost $1100 back, which is a relief. I'd like to finish paying off a credit card I HAD to use last week, but otherwise I'm completely debt free. I never thought I'd be able to say that...never!

There's so much going on now. My parents put in an offer on a house back in Livonia they really liked. I hope they get it. Once we get back there and settled, it'll be my turn. :) I can't wait to finally be 100% independent. It's about time.

I've decided I would like to learn Hindi. Am I insane? Probably, but I've got this...urge to go there now that I never thought I would have. I want to visit India, ASAP. :)

I read Shadowfever last week. Dude! I don't even know what to say about it. I'll just say it's a mind trip of epic proportions and leave it at that. :)

I just can't wait for this move to be done and over. I'm so tired and feel stressed even though we really haven't done much yet. As far as I know (which sadly isn't much), we're looking at the third week of February. I know how much I'll be making an hour, which isn't a ton, but thankfully the income tax back there is less than half of the one here in Oregon. I hope to be able to save a bit and then it'll be on to looking at houses. My friend still wants to buy my car, so there's that extra money. That means I'll have to buy a new car back there, but that's fine.

There's just so much going on. I feel like I'm spinning in a million different directions. All that's doing right now is making me dizzy. Blech!

And that's all.

Huh

2011-01-11T03:00:00.000-05:00

Man, I have a lot more to talk about than I thought. I'm writing this Sunday night, but it won't post until Tuesday.

With this move, friendship has been on my mind a lot. I wonder which friends will be TRUE friends and actually stick around. I know of one who isn't and admit that kind of doesn't surprise me. Our friendship has always been on the selfish side; on her part anyway. Should I feel bad that I really don't want anything to do with her anymore? It's sad because we've been friends for a long time and I'll miss her kids. Yeah, kids. *shakes head*

There are others that surprise me in the fact that we're friends at all. Thankfully we are and I have a feeling that friendship will last a long time.

I'm not someone who makes friends easily. I've always been friendly and outgoing, but it takes a lot for me to trust people. In fact, people I do count as friends have told me they don't know 99% about me, but I know just about everything about them. I'm sneaky like that. :P

I've also been very lucky in the online friends/communities I find myself a part of. Who knew?

Books & Thoughts & Things

2011-01-10T03:00:00.000-05:00

I've never been very good at the whole end-of-the-year-favorite-things blog entries, mostly because I can't remember 99% of it. *snorts* Okay, so that's not true, but it's hard to remember why I loved such and such book, movie, etc. when I have so many other things on my mind. That being said, I'd love to talk about some faves that I do remember. This isn't going to be a Top 10 or anything; just random observations...which I seem to be the Queen of. Heh.

Out of all the books I read last year, about 60% of them were e-books. No, I don't have an e-reader (boo), but I actually don't have a problem reading them on my laptop. Samhain Publishing is still my favorite e-book publisher, though I did get a couple of books from Loose-Id.

When I first started reading erotica/erotic romance, I admit that the main reason why was for the sex. Yeah, I'm that pathetic. Heh. But, as time has progressed, I'm getting more and more picky. 99% of the reason behind that is because I'm not made of money and only want to read books I'm going to like. E-books are harder to judge because you can't read the first couple of pages like you can with an actual book.

I did have a book review site, but if you go over there, you'll notice I haven't posted since February of last year. I'd gotten a "promotion" at my old job and just didn't have the time or brain power to review anymore. And I'd learned (the hard way) that reviewing is HARD and extremely time consuming. Since I never wanted to offend the writer or reader, I found myself censoring my voice on a regular basis and that's just not me.

The hardest thing for me was knowing that one day I'll be a published writer (ego much?) and I don't want Bridget Locke to have any bad juju hanging over it.

I'm getting sidetracked here. The point to this blog entry is books I liked. *sigh* Let's see what I can come up with.

1. Nalini Singh. Someone pointed out that her books are very repetitive and I admit that person was right. But, I still love her books with an unhealthy devotion. LOL! Were all of them perfect? No, but I still loved them.

2. Ilona Andrews. *sigh* I just plain *heart* them.

3. The first four Fever books by Karen Marie Moning. Holy Canoley Batman! I wish I'd waited until Shadowfever was out because the cliffhangers? They killed me!!!!

E-Books:

Dana Marie Bell is probably my favorite right now. Her book Bear Necessities was just plain yum. She writes really crazy characters, but somehow they just work. I so cannot wait for the next book to come out. Menage for the win! :)

Lauren Dane: Trinity, Revelation and well, everything. Her writing has gotten so much cleaner over the last year. And let me tell ya, she writes some of the yummiest heroes out there...hand's down.

Cameron Dane: *fans self* That woman can write some scorching hot love scenes be they m/f, m/m or m/m/f. Just...whoo...

Moira Rogers: I really like their books. Dark, kinda twisted, and tons of fun!

NJ Walters: I know I said I didn't care for her much, but I found a series I actually really enjoyed. The first book irritated the snot out of me, but each book got better.

Okay, something I just realized...I read a lot of menage books. Why on earth is that, I wonder? There's no way on earth I could ever have sex with two men at the same time, but there's something about reading it that works for me. I think it's a good deal of envy on my part. *snorts*

And that's it. I'm sure I'll think of a ridiculous amount I forgot to mention, but I'm tired and I just don't care right now. Heh.

Ack!!!!

2011-01-09T23:18:00.000-05:00

Wow, what a weekend! *headdesk* What's really pathetic is that I really haven't done much, but it feels like I have (if that makes sense). My mom's in Michigan and I admit it makes the house feel very empty. My dad and I are walking around like lost souls. lol

She found a house though! Whoot! It's so cute! She sent pictures and I really like it. It's perfect for my parents. My ultimate goal is to live there for a few months to save up funds and then get my own place.

I sure hope everything continues to work out as it has since this was decided upon. Orannia asked if I knew what my job will be back there. I'll start out working in the warehouse getting to know the product. I hope it'll only take a few months and then I'll be brought in to do inside sales. So, in a sense, it will be very similar to what I was doing before; it'll just be something other than clothing and blankets. lol

Tomorrow I get to go get my eyes checked. I really need new glasses like whoa. I have a horrible time seeing street signs, which is important, so I'd like to get a strong prescription. Here's hoping it'll all work out. :)

I found some old sheets which are in the wash. Years ago I found this bedding set that I absolutely fell in love with. It was white and black w/ Asian writing of some sort and dragons all over it. I'm usually not into Asian anything, but it totally worked for me. Then I put it away at one point and forgot about it. I've been cleaning out drawers and came across it in the bottom drawer of my dresser. So, there you go. :0

Am I the only woman in the world who finds Alexander Skarsgard creepy looking? I think I must be. I don't find him sexy at all. Could be because blonds leave me cold; but I think it also has to do with his eyes. He looks...evil. lol. Obviously I'm not in the "I wanna have his babies" category. *snorts*

The next few weeks are going to be really intense. I've got so much sorting and packing to do. I find myself a bit intimidated. But, I'm going to be smart about this and do it right. 90% of my stuff will go into storage back there and I'll just take my absolute necessities with me to the house. That'll be my bed, PS3, TV, bookcase and some of my fave books. Everything else will stay packed up. Yay!

I'm doing much better at the blogging thing. Here's hoping it'll continue through this year.

I have a request. If you'd be so kind, please comment and leave your favorite inspirational quotes. I'm working on something and I'd sure appreciate it.

With that, I'll leave you with this. I hope it'll make your Monday better than it usually is. Ciao!!!

I Am So Tired!

2011-01-08T00:47:00.000-05:00

Boy-howdy! Talk about a crazy couple of days, but you know what? I actually enjoyed myself. The boys were really good for me and we ended up having lots of fun. Countless hours of Spongebob and Curious George. A night with my elder nephew snuggled up against my butt sleeping. He was having a bad night and wanted to sleep in bed with me.

Today it was all about imagination. We congregated on the big couch and pretended it was a boat. I kept telling the boys they had to stay on the "boat" to avoid the sharks and octopi that were surrounding us. Dylan pretended to be a zombie and scared Cooper so bad he had to snuggle with me for awhile.

Lots of boggies (bottles) and apple juice. Cheetos and Bar-B-Q chips. Nappy time snuggled up with Dylan, who refused to go to sleep at first. He was sitting on the bed next to me playing with his cars and the next thing I know he's toppling over and out. Kid sleeps like the dead.

Changing a gazillion icky diapers. I gotta say; out of everything, it's the diaper changing that grosses me out more than anything. And let me tell ya, my nephew has some mighty nasty diapers. Blech! Thankfully, Dylan's basically potty trained, so I didn't have to worry about him at all.

I got home around 6:15, took the world's fastest shower and then drove out to the signing in Beaverton. I felt really bad that I didn't stay long, but I could tell I was really tired and wanted to get home before it was too dangerous to drive.

It's 40 degrees here. It's probably in the low teens in Livonia. What in the world are we doing? lol. Actually, the cold weather doesn't scare me at all. That's what layers are for. AND I get to wear jeans at work, so I'm super excited about that. No more "business casual" which is another word for horribly uncomfortable, at least for me. I HATE having to wear slacks and such. So not my particular taste.

And so I'm off. I should just go to bed, but my brain's not ready to shut down. I think I'm gonna light some candles and either read or write. It's so hard to write right now. My brain's going a billion different directions, but not in the way I'd like it to. I hope that once we get back there and settled my writing will pick up again. I just need to chill; that's my biggest issue right now. *sigh*

yawn

2011-01-07T09:39:00.000-05:00

As I get older, I realize more and more that I am SO not meant to have children. My mom & SIL are back in Michigan as I write this house-searching. *sigh* Since my brother has to work and I'm currently jobless, I'm taking care of the boys.

I've been over here since Wednesday night. Dylan slept in my bed with me Wednesday night. I ended up with less than two hours of sleep. To say nappy time couldn't come soon enough yesterday is an understatement.

Thankfully, last night I ended up in my "bed" alone, so I got a good night's sleep. They woke me up at 5:15 this morning & I've been up ever since. I am so not a morning person. *yawn*

Thankfully, my nephews have been very good for their auntie, so it's not as bad as it could be. So far, we've eaten breakfast, watched both Spongebob and Curious George. I'm in the bedroom w/ the computer and Dylan wants to get on pbskids.org. It's our public broadcasting children's website, which is awesome. Dylan's not quite five, but the kid's figured out puzzles like nobodies business. :) My nephew's a genius. lol

Tonight I get to go to my friend Delilah's book launch. I finally read the book Wednesday night and it is SO good! So, if you like a good historical romance with some very unique obsessions, I recommend Prelude to a Scandal by Delilah Marvelle. :)

And I'm off! The boys will only stay out of trouble for so long. :) Adios! Ciao! And all that other good stuff. :D

Hola!

2011-01-04T22:19:00.000-05:00

I made a promise to myself that I would blog more this year than I did last year. So far, so good. :)

This move is becoming more real each day, y'all. On Friday we painted the living room. All of the pictures and such are packed up or at Goodwill. My mom's cleaned out her china cabinet. All the magnets are off the fridge. There are boxes stacked everywhere.

With me not working, I'm the one running all of the little errands that need to be done. Today it was off to Fred Meyer to get another gallon of paint. My dad's got it in his head to pain the dining room on Friday. *sigh*

My mom & SIL are flying back to Livonia Thursday morning and coming back on Monday. They're house hunting. We've been doing a lot of web browsing and drooling. My mom found a house back there she really, really likes. It's a really nice house and is surrounded by trees.

I've been looking at condos. I really, really can't wait to get my own place. You can buy a two bedroom/two bath condo for less than $100,000 and I've found a couple I really like. But, I'm gonna be smart and start out staying with the folks to save up the money. Work will be insane back there and I'm sure we'll have a ridiculous amount of overtime until we get everything settled back there.

With my mom & SIL being out of town, taking care of the boys falls on my head. Oh joy. Actually, they're very good for me, so it won't be that bad. The part that sucks is that I'll have to stay over there until Friday night. *sigh* Since my brother will be leaving for work around 6, I get to be up at the buttcrack of dawn. Blech! I am so not a morning person. *yawn*

But, I told him I have plans for Monday, so he'll have to figure something else out. They just assumed I'd be available and didn't even ask me if I was free. I told him today that I wouldn't do it. They are his kids; not mine!

I got up early this morning. Had a dentist appointment at 9. After that I picked up a ridiculous amount of laundry and went to the laundromat to do my laundry. I was there for almost two hours. All I can say is that when I get my own place it better have a washer/dryer in the unit or I'm not gonna be happy. I HATE going to the laundromat!!!

Now I'm laying on my bed listening to music with a candle going. I love candles. :)

Sunday my friend Jenna took me out for Indian food. With this crazy obsession I've got going with India & its culture, I figured I should try it. I told her I couldn't do anything super spicy, so she steered me away from anything that would've knocked me over. I'm an official Indian food convert. Oh man, is it good! Nom! I LOVE chicken tikka masala. It's soooooo good. Very flavorful without being spicy at all. I wanna go back. :) Here's hoping I can find a good restaurant in Michigan. :)

And that's about it for the moment. Trying to keep myself from going too crazy. Kinda succeeding, but not as well as I'd like. Ha!

Happy New Year!!!

2011-01-01T15:30:00.000-05:00

So, I made it to 2011 intact. Whoddathunkit? lol.

Thursday was my last day of work. It was a very surreal day (to put it mildly). I am SO glad I'm gone. So glad. :) It was time to move on.

Yesterday was painting day and then I went to take care of my nephews. That was actually a lot of fun. They know not to try anything when their auntie's around. We played a billion games of Shoots & Ladders. Hide and seek. Watched endless episodes of Spongebob and Curious George. Played with Play-do. Ya know...a good day.

I slept in until 10 today. Trying to catch up on sleep. Ha! My life is going to be so chaotic over the next month or so...I dunno if I'm going to survive it or not. *sigh*

My biggest New Year's Resolution is to survive the move with my sanity. If I can do that, I think I can do anything. :)

The weirdest part about this move is saying goodbye to landmarks of all things. As I was driving over to Vancouver to watch the boys, Mt Hood and Mt St Helens were crystal clear. As I was looking at them I was thinking "I'll only see these a few more times." It's just so surreal.

Maybe if I'd lived in other places, it wouldn't be so bizarre, but I am a true native Northwesterner. I've never lived anywhere else. Getting used to EST, being so close to Canada...there are a lot of things that make my head spin. :) But, I'm being an optimist. I'm going to enjoy myself, ya know?

And that's about it for now. Trying to decide if I want to deal with a laundromat today to clean some clothes that need it. My friend Jenna & I should be going out for Indian food tonight, which will be an adventure. I've never had it, but with all of the Bollywood movies I've been watching, I feel the need to try it. Wish me luck! :)

My Life is Chaos

2010-12-27T00:02:00.000-05:00

And that's putting it mildly. My mom & I spent the day cleaning my room. A total of 28 bags of stuff went to Goodwill. About 5 bags of recycling (mostly paper) went out. 3 bags of garbage. Of the 28 bags that went to Goodwill, 15 of them were books. I probably should have taken the time to pack them all up & cart them to Powell's or something, but in all honesty...I didn't feel like it.

We have a realtor coming to look at the house tomorrow. She specializes in older homes that are sold "as is." Our house was built in 1912 and though it's got good bones needs a lot of TLC. Unfortunately with my dad working more than full time and my mom watching the grandboys 5 days a week; well, it just hasn't been kept up as it should have been. We're hoping she can figure out a decent price to sell it at. There are a lot of yuppy/hippy couples out there who salivate at the thought of rehabbing old houses like this one, so we're pretty optimistic. *crossing fingers*

Tomorrow was supposed to be a vacation day, but it worked out that if I gave up one of my vacation days, my insurance would be good thru the end of next month. Since I'm not an idiot, I said I'd work tomorrow. My last day of work is on Thursday. There are a lot of unknowns, but I KNOW I can't work while we're packing up and stuff. My brain just doesn't work that way. We're stressed out enough as it is. :(

Two my friends gave birth this weekend. I'm so happy for them and admittedly so glad it's not me. I like kids, but never enough to have any. lol. They exhaust me and I so do not have the patience to deal with them. Thank you, but no. :)

I got Netflix on my PS3. Why I waited so long to do it, I'll never know. I've been watching a ridiculous amount of Bollywood movies. I blame Nalini Singh and the Youtube videos she's played. They caught my attention & when I found them on Netflix, I had to watch them. Some of 'em are awful, but there are some that are amazing! I already watch TV with close-captioning on, so I'm used to reading as I'm watching. It's very surreal to be reading the subtitles and then all of a sudden being able to understand full sentences. They throw full English sentences into the dialog. It's very random and immediately switches back to Hindi or Punjabi, but still! lol

I've got an apple pie candle burning. It smells amazing & is making me VERY hungry. :)

Yesterday was...hmm...an exercise in chaos? Yeah, I think that's the best way to describe it. lol. But, I got money which will go in handy. I found this super, amazing, adorable purse that I'm salivating over, but I don't know if I can justify spending that much money. I get 25% off, but that'd still make it about $160 bucks. *sigh* If I'm being practical, I should just put it into savings. *sigh* I don't wanna be practical! *sniffle*

Only four more days of work. I can't quite get my head wrapped around that. It's crazy. I admit, I can't wait to get out of there. The job was stagnating to the point of ridiculous and I just need something new. I was given a questionnaire by HR to fill out. They say it can be anonymous, so I plan on being pretty blunt. Yes, there were good aspects to the job, but in all honesty there were some things that so weren't. So, we'll see what happens.

Have you ever tried to hide "toys" from your mother? Ha! Yeah, that was interesting. lol. Oy.

And with that, I'm off. I went to bed at 7:15 last night and woke up at 8 this morning. I was SO tired. Work last week wasn't very fun. The boys were crazy hyper yesterday. All in all, I just needed the sleep. I hope everyone had a great weekend! Ciao!

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

2010-12-20T23:50:00.000-05:00

Phew! I think that about says it. lol

Oy, talk about going in a million different directions at once. Where to begin?

Hmm...well, y'all know about my move, so I won't go into that too much. I'll just say things are chaotic at best and leave it at that. :)

My last day of work will be the 30th of this month. We won't be moving until the end of January, but because of all the insanity, I thought it'd be a good idea to leave work a bit early to help my mom with the packing process. *headdesk*

Thankfully, we're not going to tackle that until after Christmas. Right now there's just too much going on with the holiday to try to tackle that as well.

I spent almost all of last week off work. I picked up that nasty cold bug that's been going around. It ended up settling in my vocal chords and I ended up with laryngitis for 9 1/2 days. Talk about crazy. Since my job entails that I be off the phone, I had to get a doctor's note to have me off work from last Tuesday thru Friday.

Today was my first day back and it wasn't pleasant at all. For one thing, my boss kinda threw her hands up and didn't let my two coworkers do ANYTHING, so I went back in to work to find that absolutely nothing had been done in my absence. Added to that I've gotta train my replacement in 3 days and I can honestly tell you...it's not going to happen. I don't think my boss gets it that this position isn't a walk in the park. There are a lot of things I've got to go over with him. Since she only gave me 3 2 1/2 hour increments to do the training... Argh! I told my replacement I'd give him my cell phone # and if he got completely stuck he could call me. My boss certainly won't have a clue. *headdesk*

Right now I'm just frazzled. I have a feeling that will be my normal mode until after we're moved and settled. I'm tired and we haven't even started packing yet. Ack!

I'd gotten my laptop "fixed" a couple of months ago, but the person who "fixed" it didn't put any security on it. So, I got online and within a few minutes had acquired a virus. Thankfully one of my bestest friends' boyfriend is an engineer. He took my laptop and my mom's desktop and fixed them both for $50 a pop. I had to download a couple of free security things, but it's working great! *knocksonwood*

So, I still won't be around much, but wanted to give you all a basic head's up. I'm gonna be a basket case here for awhile. *whimpers*

Twists, Turns, & Upside Downs

2010-12-05T23:11:00.000-05:00

Hoo-boy, when I said life's been complicated, I wasn't kidding.

Here's the main story. About 6 months ago, an opportunity made itself known to my family. At the time it was an idea, a wish, a something. Basically, it would change my entire family's life.

Things have been extremely unsettled and stressful for these last few months because we didn't know if it would happen or not.

Yesterday it finally became for certain. After all these months of stress and uncertainty, we now know we're going to do it. It's still stressful, but it's also a relief.

What's this thing that's been hanging over our heads? We will be moving across the country to Livonia, Michigan. My family (parents, brother, and SIL) has been given the opportunity of a lifetime and it's a blessing.

It's also unbelievably scary too. I've never lived anywhere but Oregon, so it'll probably be a bit of a culture shock as well. But, I'm looking at as an opportunity to start over. To have a clean slate. The cost of living is about half of what it is in Portland. I'll actually be able to afford my own home, which trips me out.

So, as this is going on, I'm probably going to be pretty scarce online. We'll be moving in mid-January, so now it'll be a lot of packing and purging. I can't wait to quit my current job & move on...finally.

And that's what's been going on. Ack! I admit to being a bit freaked out right now. Hold me! Lol

HAPPY THANKSGIVING, EVERYONE!!!

2010-11-25T14:46:00.000-05:00

I've got to go get ready for the trek out to my brother & SIL's house for our annual Thanksgiving feast, but wanted to get on here and say that I'm so very thankful for all of you. You've all been there for me, even in the smallest ways.

My personal life is going thru a lot of turmoil right now. Nothing bad, but pretty major. Things are all coming to a head now and will probably go crazy here in the next month or so. I'm glad for the resolution...I just wish it hadn't taken so long to HAPPEN!!! Sadly, I can't really talk about it yet because it's not fully realized. As soon as I can, y'all will be some of the first to know. :)

It's been FREEZING here this last week. It wasn't until yesterday that we got above 30 degrees. I like cold weather, but even this was too cold for me. Brr... *shivers*

It's time to go take a shower. Love ya!

Super Quickie!

2010-11-17T14:11:00.000-05:00

Just wanted to let everyone know I'm alive. Yay? lol

I'm good. Been really busy. Having some major computer issues, so haven't been able to get online at home much.

I'll try to write a full-on blog entry soon, but wanted to let you know I'm here...I think. :)

blechy

2010-10-17T00:27:00.000-04:00

This cold sucks! I'm over the main cold; it's the coughing & nose-blowing I could do without. My sinuses don't know which end is up.

I'm tired and going to bed. Just wanted to say hi! *waves*

I Can't Sleep

2010-10-11T02:45:00.000-04:00

I seriously hate nights like this. For reasons unknown to me, my brain won't shut down and i'm all wound up. Bah!

I cut off 7 inches of hair today and immediately lost probably 10 pounds all at once. I tried to wait until I had enough to donate, but realized this morning that it was just too much. So, I made an appointment and cut it off. It's still just past my shoulders, so it's not like I went short or anything. :D

I'm not looking forward to going to work tomorrow. We've got 8 new temps coming in for the holiday season and as a senior rep, I get to train. Blech. 2 different reps; 6 hours for each of them. *sigh* doesn't my boss realize that i've already got a buttload of stuff going on & don't need the added aggravation? Argh!

But, I'm in an amazing mood. I'm still not ready to divulge just yet, but I'm happy. Am I a big enough tease? Heh.

gah!

2010-10-07T23:10:00.000-04:00

Uh, colds suck. I've got a nasty one, which is making my life miserable. *sigh* what else is new? Sheesh!

Other than being sick, I'm good. Work's busy. I'm busy. Yay!

I've got some stuff happening in my life that makes me very happy, but I'm not ready to talk about it yet. Oh, I'm being all secretive and stuff. Whoo! Heh.

Your Help is Needed

2010-10-03T19:13:00.000-04:00

Unless you've been living under a rock, you've heard of the terrible tragedy that occurred recently with a young gay man who jumped off the George Washington Bridge after a sexual encounter between him and another young man was filmed and broadcast by his roommate. No matter if you believe homosexuality is wrong or not, you should be enraged by the stupidity and ugliness of the situation. Bullying is wrong no matter what.

My friend Katiebabs wrote a beautiful blog entry and is pledging $1 a comment (up to $500) to two different charities. I've already commented & I hope you will too.

Today, however, I wanted to share my story and to let those of you out there who read my blog (and if you're just passing by) know, that it DOES GET BETTER!!!!!!

Bullying started young for me. In fact, I honestly don't remember any time in my childhood when I wasn't bullied. I was extremely tall for my age (5'10" by 5th grade) and was raised in a strict Christian upbringing where I didn't wear anything but skirts until I was 14. I was teased because I was awkward, tall and timid.

In kindergarden I was trapped inside the large playhouse we had by 2 other students who were egged on by the teacher. I was petrified and can remember screaming for help, but nobody came to my rescue. They kept me in there for what seemed like hours before finally letting me out because they got bored.

We moved that following summer and I remember hoping that things would get better, but they didn't. I started 1st grade and it started up immediately again. My biggest tormenter was a girl who lived down the street from me. Rhonda (yes, I'm naming names) was this short, obnoxious blond brat who lived to make my life hell. Every day at school it was something: my clothes, my height, my smarts...basically whatever it was she could tease me about. Because she was popular, it escalated because her "followers" wanted her to like them, so they started it up too.

6th grade was a much needed respite where my mom homeschooled me. It was the best I ever did in school and there are days even now that I wish it had continued until I graduated, but alas it was not in the cards. By 7th grade, I was back in public school and the bullying started up again, but this time it got physical.

The popular kids (including my old nemesis) hated me. I'll never know why, but they did. 8th grade was a nightmare of epic proportions and I remember ending that school year hoping and praying that high school would get better, but it didn't.

My first day of Freshman year, all the obnoxious bullies I'd dealt with in elementary AND middle school were there. The teasing and bullying started again. I didn't have anyone to turn to, so I started retreating more and more. I'm not aggressive, not really, and didn't know what to do to get them to just leave me alone. Now, it wasn't just girls who bullied me, it was boys too.

There was one boy in particular who took it way too far. His locker was right next to mine and I had to watch my back constantly, because if I was bending down to get something from the bottom of my locker, he'd come up behind me and shove me as hard as he could into my locker so that I'd bang my head against the back. He shoved me down an entire flight of stairs and it was only the grace of God that kept me from getting seriously injured.

My Junior year, one of the girls in my high school came out as a lesbian and my bullies decided that because I was tall and had never dated, that I was a lesbian too. The rumor passed like wildfire and it got so bad that as I'd walk down the hall people would stop talking and watch me walk by with absolute disgust on their faces. I didn't have any friends and was so far beyond miserable that I did contemplate suicide.

My Senior year in high school my brother started as a Freshman. My brother, completely opposite from me, fit in and had friends. He began hearing nasty rumors about me and felt that as my brother, he should defend me, but he also wanted me to know what was going on and told me.

It all came to a head about 3 weeks into the year. I was desperate. I didn't know who to turn to and remember I was in the car with my mom. I told her that I didn't know if I wanted to live anymore. It scared her so badly that she talked to my dad and they decided it would be best to let me drop out and get my GED. I still say to this day it's the only thing that saved me.

I dropped out and got my GED. I started working and finally got to see that not everyone was out to get me. I'm 34 and admit that it's taken me a long time to get over the damage done to my psyche by the kids I was bullied by. But, I want everyone to know, IT DOES GET BETTER.

There are days where I complain about things and how much I hate stuff, but the bullying does end. Ironically, the obnoxious brat who made my life hell got her just desserts. She ended up being in a physically abusive relationship and other awful things that...it's wrong of me to say, but I feel she deserved it. Does that make me an awful person? Probably, but you reap what you sow and unfortunately, she reaped nothing but misery.

If you're being bullied or tormented by your peers, do what I didn't. Talk to your parents, a counselor, your pastor...anyone. Do not let it fester until you feel like life's not worth living. Trust me, it is and it will get better.

One day you'll look back and realize that your life is awesome. You'll graduate from high school, maybe go to college. You'll get a degree and a great job. Maybe find a great partner/spouse. Have beautiful children (or not depending on if you want them or not :) ). Travel. See great things. DO great things. Don't allow these small-minded individuals to ruin your life. They're not worth it. YOU'RE WORTH IT. Just remember that.

oy

2010-09-18T03:36:00.000-04:00

Man, I disappeared again! Sheesh, I'm an awful blogger.

I've had a lot going on at work and home, so that's my excuse for disappearing like I did.

I went to the big annual signing out at Powell's which was awesome, as per usual. Ilona Andrews was there as was Elisabeth Naughton, Meljean Brook, Courtney Milan, Delilah Marvelle & a bunch more.

I only got a few books (including an ARC of a certain book that comes out next month...shhhh) and after the signing we went out to dinner. The food was great and the conversation was fascinating.

And...Ilona remembered my name! I mean seriously, what are the odds that she'd remember? She & Andrew are the nicest people. I told her how happy I was that they're in my neck of the woods now. I see them more than I ever thought I would. :)

Other than that, i've just been busy. I'm on vacation now though and don't go back to work until the 27th. My birthday's on Wednesday, so I always take that week off. It's my gift to myself.

So, I hope everyone is well. I'm hoping to catch up on blogs and stuff this coming week *crosses fingers*

I'm BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACCCCCCCKKKKKK!!!

2010-08-31T22:03:00.000-04:00

Did ya miss me? I missed y'all dreadfully.

So, here's what's been going on. My coworker's girlfriend is an engineer. I was telling A how much my computer was dragging and how frustrated I was at not being able to do anything. A said Well my girlfriend can probably fix it for you." So two weeks ago Sunday I went over, bought pizza & sat around while said girlfriend was fixing said computer. 4 1/2 hours into it, she tells me "Well, you have a virus and it's going to take me a couple of days to fix it." I was all bummed, but figured I'd have it in a couple of days. *headdesk*

Yeah, not so much. I just got it about an hour and a half ago. See, my laptop had Vista on it, which anyone who's had Vista will tell you is crap. Nobody could help her figure out what was wrong, etc. etc. Long story short, I had to go buy Windows 7 yesterday. $200 gone, but she got my computer all up and running. Sadly, none of my programs survived, but my baby's running like butta. I've never had a computer move so fast in my life.

So, Bridget is VERY happy. :)

Now I get to figure out what programs I want to keep. I'm putting Sims 2 back on cuz I miss it so. Definitely Word and...that's about it. I want to keep the 'puter running fast, ya know. lol

All in all, I'm a very happy girl.

And I missed y'all somethin' fierce. *smooches*

What A Crazy, Wild Ride

2010-08-24T01:53:00.000-04:00

There are some days when I wonder why I'm here and all kinds of existential nonsense that kind of makes my head hurt.

I just finished reading Eat, Pray, Love and I'm trying to decide how I feel about it. On one hand I really enjoyed it. I understand the want and need to discover yourself. But, on the other hand, the book just really bothered me. I can't really articulate why, but it did.

I think it's because she doesn't have a REASON for why she breaks up her marriage and then goes on this path of self-discovery. She's so self-involved and it just rubbed me wrong.

I know for myself as I'm going on my own journey that if I stay and continue what I'm doing, my...soul (I don't think that's the right word, necessarily) will just shrivel up and die.

I'm not happy anymore. My job's a one way ticket to nowhere and I'm stagnating. I'm exhausted emotionally, spiritually and physically. I wish I had the money to just up and disappear for a year.

I know exactly what I would do. I'd rent a small cottage in a small Scottish village. It would have to have internet access so I could keep in contact with family and friends, but I would honestly be perfectly content with no human contact at all for awhile.

I'm realizing more and more the older I get that I seriously don't like to be around people all that much. I think I could be a hermit with little issue at all. How sad is that?

Huh...

2010-08-17T00:14:00.000-04:00

You know, sometimes friends can surprise you. My friend M is...well, he's a surprise friend. I never thought we'd be civil, let alone friends. I asked him for his opinion and he gave it. It's surprisingly common sense. I *heart* him. :)

teeter-totters are scary

2010-08-16T01:10:00.000-04:00

No, I didn't ride one, but I certainly feel like I'm riding an emotional one. *sigh*

Today was nice. Went and got pedis with my niece. Also got a manicure because I'm trying to quit biting my nails. We'll see how it works.

It's really got here. I HATE hot. It makes me cranky. :(

Tomorrow's another day. Oh, joy.

I'm trying to be positive. Trying is definitely the operative word. I wish I could just not like him anymore. Blow it off as a passing fancy and leave it be.

I'm getting too much conflicting advice, so I'm just gonna ride it out and see what happens. I just wish he was single, liked me, admitted it and we could move on.

It's just so bizarre. When he first started working there, there was nothing there. I thought he was cute, but wasn't totally into him. But, mr being me, I would say hi every day and just talk to him.

We became friends. He's worked there now for about a yearish and the whole flirtation thing just started out of the blue. I think if he'd been super flirtatious from the beginning I'd be able to just write him off as an immature punk, but it didn't.

I just wish I could shut off my brain. Turn it off and ignore it all for awhile.

I think having him gone for 3 months will be good. Like I told my niece today, if I don't hear from him at all while he's gone I can write him off and move on.

BUT, here's the thing...I refuse to be the other woman. Refuse. If he tries to pursue something, we're going to have a serious come to jesus talk.

And if this all about an ego boost, I'm gonna kick his butt from here to timbuktu.

blech!

2010-08-15T02:57:00.000-04:00

It's hot. I'm laying here typing on my BlackBerry. I've got a fan pointed right at me.

Today was an adventure. *sigh* last night our modem died a spectacular death. My mom bought a new one at wal-mart this morning and when I got up she was going thru the box muttering to herself.

See, the box very clearly has the words "installation CD" written on it, which common sense tells you there should be one IN the box. Ha! That's funny. No CD.

So, she went back to wal-mart. New box. No CD. By this point, she's almost un tears. I told her I'd go to best buy and take care of it.

Go to best buy. Buy new modem. Have them open box once I bought it. No CD. By this point I'm almost in tears. Talk to one of the managers and she said I shouldn't need a CD. Call mom. We've got same modem at home. Get money back and go home.

Set up new modem. Doesn't connect to internet. Call qwest. Get this very nice foreign gentleman who is very patient with my obvious frustration. Has me troubleshoot a couple of things. Internet FINALLY connects.

I ask him how the supposed router works. Turns out I have to buy one. *headdesk* go back to wal-mart. Talk to hit in electronics. They don't have it. Argh! So, I get rather snippy and say if you sell the modem you should sell the router too.

Call my mom to get best buy's number. As we're talking hit comes up to me with the router.

Get home and hook up router. Internet's not connecting again. Seriously? Dude, it's like the cosmos were out to get me. I'm frustrated, but think I'll try one more time.

And...success. So, for the first time ever (seriously at least two years) my mom can be on her desktop and I can be on my laptop simultaneously. It just took 4.5 hours of my life to get there. *sigh*

This will be funny tomorrow, but today it sucked. Just sayin.

Hmmmmmmmmm.......

2010-08-14T00:43:00.000-04:00

So, yeah. Today sucked. 99% of that was my own doing. I let it get to me.

I was going to talk to him after work, but then realized that would just make things worse. He was his usual sweet self. *sigh* so frustrating.
After work as we were driving home, I asked him how long they'd dated. His exact words...a few years.

Looking back on all this, he'd dropped hints, but I was too focused on him to see it. I don't think they're happy. They certainly don't see each other as often as a couple should.

After I got home, I talked to my friend Vickie about my observations. She told me she'd talked to her boyfriend about it (not on my bequest, she did it on her own) and he immediately jumped in with "he's not happy in his relationship and it sounds like he really likes her (me), but doesn't want to be the bad guy. He's bored with his girlfriend and wants out." *sigh*
I told he I don't want to be his rebound. If they break up, I'm not gonna just be all "I'll take you now." he'll have to work for it. I'm not some ditzy broad. I'm not THAT desperate.

So, at this point we're in a holding pattern.

I can't just stop liking him. I'm an idiot, I guess.

scratches head

2010-08-13T01:17:00.000-04:00

I admit it. I'm so confused right now. *sigh* The mention of the girlfriend smacked me upside the head so hard I'm amazed I can think straight. Now I'm all about the confusion and the "say what?" How, why, what, huh?

Did I completely misread the signs? Is this "girlfriend" just a defense mechanism because he's shy and I've scared him off? What in the world is going on?

Self-doubt's kicking in big time, which is just driving me nuts. I've got to find some sort of resolution to this whole thing or my head will explode. I'm thinking a conversation needs to be had. Some of my friends will say I shouldn't, but I just can't let this rest. I refuse to be played for a fool.

I'm not crazy. I didn't dream any of what I've written about up. I'm just...I don't know. I want to KNOW! If he truly has a girlfriend, then so be it. But, if he's doing this because he's scared, that's another thing. I just can't seem to wrap my head around any of this. Maybe it'll all be clearer in the morning.

*sigh*

sigh

2010-08-12T22:16:00.000-04:00

He has a girlfriend.

Excuse me while I go lick my wounds in peace. I'm just not meant to deal with this sort of thing. Being single isn't all bad...right?

If You Had Told Me

2010-08-12T02:38:00.000-04:00

Even two weeks ago that I'd be taking a pole-dancing class I would've looked at you like you lost your mind. And yet, that's exactly what I did tonight. And you know what? It's one of the best things I've ever done.

My friend Jenna & I met up on Saturday. We got to talking about stuff and got on the conversation of confidence in your sexuality. I'm sure y'all have figured out that's not something I'm comfortable with, especially in myself. Jenna told me I should take this class; that it would really help me out with that. So, I took her word for it and joined this class.

I walked in to the classroom right before class started. I, as per usual, was early. I got out a mat and sat down. The teacher seemed really cool and all of the women who came in seemed to be really nice. We sat down on the mats and went thru a warming up period where we did a lot of deep breathing and stretching.

THEN came the fun part. The POLE!!! Whoo! She taught us the basic moves and we each had to do it. I was kind of chicken at first, but once we started, it was crazy fun. My favorite was the twist/twirl thinamajig we did. We had the music blasting and it was just really cool. At the end of the class we sat in a circle and had to tell one thing about ourselves we thought was sexy. I actually said it was my height.

As I'm going thru this metamorphasis (whatever that is), I'm realizing that there are things about me that ARE sexy...it's just taking me a long time to realize it. *sigh* But, I think this class will really help me out with that.

Next week we're focusing more on the sexy aspect, which is kind of freaking me out. I've learned what not to wear though. No more uncomfy panties, thankyouverymuch. I felt like I had a constant wedgie. I need to find better workout gear. That's gonna be very important. :) Plus, they all said they're gonna get me in heels, so we'll see. Heh.

And that was my first experience. I know for certain I'm going to do the 2nd level. I already want to get my own pole. Talk about fun. Spin...wheee!!!!

I'm off to bed. I couldn't get to sleep right away, but if I don't go to bed soon, I'm gonna be zonked tomorrow.

Ciao!

Nightmare

2010-08-10T02:09:00.001-04:00

Last night I dreamed he told me he was gay. *thud* Woke up in a cold sweat. My worst fear come to life. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

And...

2010-08-09T23:05:00.000-04:00

So, another update on "him." Until things are figured out between us, your stuck w/ me. Heh. :)

We were driving home from work. We've now established that I meet him halfway and then he drives the rest of the way in. We're going back to my car and talking about our respective weekends. We miss the turn and keep going. We get up about 4 blocks when he realizes that we've passed and have to turn around. "Why didn't you tell me?" I'm like "I wasn't paying attention."

So as he's turning, out of nowhere he says "Well, you could always come over and hang out at my place for awhile." I was like "Okay, that works" however, he chickened out and said "wait, you're going grocery shopping. Maybe soon." *headdesk* Me and my big mouth saying I had to go grocery shopping when we'd first gotten in the car. lol. Grr...

And you could tell it just kind of popped out because he got a bit flustered. And we all go "Aw, shucks."

But, we're getting closer. Whoo! :D

****

I'm starting the pole-dancing class on Wednesday. Eep! My friend Jenna talked me into it. I think it'll really help me get comfy in my body and my sense of sexiness, which is sadly lacking. However, my mom did say tonight that I seem to be blossoming all of a sudden. That's what liking someone can do. I kid! It's all for me. I WANT this. Liking him's just an added benefit. :)

***

I was able to get some writing done. As we were driving home, I was going over my notes. He knows I'm working on writing a book and was asking me questions about stuff. I couldn't really tell him that what I was working on was a super-hot-scorching-fanning-self love scene, but was able to give him an idea of what the process is for writing, editing, etc. He's very supportive of it, so yay! Now if I could just get him to ask me out. *hands on hips w/ foot tapping impatiently* Argh!

I'm just sitting here listening to music, eating rice chips and contemplating my boring evening. heh.

It's The Weekend! Whoo!

2010-08-08T01:32:00.001-04:00

So far, I'm having a great weekend. :) Yay for great weekends. They're so rare. Heh.

Hmm...where should I start? Fine, I'll start with him because I want to. Pfft. We found out what day he'd be leaving for his surgery. We'll be carpooling until the 14th of September. When he told me I told him I was having a sad. lol.

We've finally figured out a cure to the being late thing. Yay! It was his idea (shocking!) and it worked like a charm, so going ahead, that'll be what we do. I meet him on 60th and then he drives the rest of the way in. Before it just was taking too long. There's so much road construction going on that making his way across town to my house was getting a bit ridiculous. The only thing I don't like is leaving my car behind, but whatever. If my car gets stolen...*sigh*

On Thursday I got off work at 3, but stayed until 5:30 so we could ride home together. I've been wanting to write, but haven't had anywhere really quiet to do that. So, I sat in the lunchroom and wrote. It worked just fine, so I was happy about that. As we were driving home, I told him I was going to come in on my own yesterday because I had a bunch of errands to run. His lower lip jutted out and he didn't say anything for a minute. I asked him if he was okay and then he started arguing on why I should ride in with him. Was it worth paying the parking twice, etc. I told him that I wanted to get stuff done (going to the bank, et. al.) and that they closed by 6. I asked him if he wanted me to stay until 5:30, he'd have to run the errands with me. He wouldn't've been able to do that anyway, because he had a thing he had to go to last night. So, I drove in.

Throughout the day he'd come by my desk like he wanted to make sure I was there. After my last break I stuck my cell phone in my pocket. I was on the phone with a customer and he came over to my desk. He motioned at me, but I pointed at my phone. He bent over the back of my chair and unzipped my purse. I'm looking at him like "what do you think you're doing?" lol. He whispered, where's your phone? I pulled it out of my pocket and he took it out of my hand. At that point, I'm thinking "Oh crap", but he pulled up my calls and handed me my phone. I'd hip-dialed his cell phone. He left and I finished the phone call. I was thinking "He could've just texted me and let me know." But, instead, he came over, unzipped my purse and made it into some big production. *shakes head* If that boy doesn't like me... *huffs out breath*

***

So, I'd made plans to meet up with my friend Jenna for a writing date. Yeah, that so didn't happen. LOL! I got there before she did and was eating. She got some food and sat down. Three hours later the cafe's closing and we're still chatting. I loves her to pieces. Such a cool chick and she cracks me up. And I'm not just saying this 'cuz I know she'll be reading this later. *cheeky grin*

Somehow, she's talked me into taking a...I don't know if it's a pole-dancing class or something close, but yeah. I just wanna feel sexy in my own skin. Plus, it'll help me limber up and get some looseness into my walk. I always walk full-steam ahead and I need to put some oompf into my girliness. heh. So, we'll see what happens.

***

After I got home, I gotta play with Coopy for a bit. My brother & SIL's anniversary is on Tuesday, but they wanted to do something tonight. Since Dylan's camping with Pawpaw, we got Cooper for the night. He's getting SO big. He's 2, but seriously he's a big boy. He's all lanky arms and legs though. Not overall big like Dylan. They're both so cute.

Dylan's really fascinated by "him" and is always asking me about him. It's just stinkin' cute. :)

***

I took my laptop case with me and when I got into my bedroom and was unpacking, I came across all the notes I'd written for my paranormal series. I thought I'd accidentally thrown them away a long time ago, so I was THRILLED! And can I say I write some smokin' hot love scenes? I'm just sayin'. heh

So, tomorrow my plan is to get up relatively early and take a walk. I haven't walked since my last one and I find I'm craving it. It should be cool in the morning, so I'm gonna put on my walking clothes and I'm gonna walk. Whoo!

And that's my plan. Yay! I'm off to go write. Or maybe color. I'm kinda bored and procrastinating tonight. *slaps wrist* Shame on me! :P

Blerg

2010-08-04T00:15:00.000-04:00

You know the phrase "Have a Come To Jesus Talk?" Yeah, I had to do that today. Carpooling is good...until Tuesdays. I've been late every Tuesday since this whole carpooling thing started. My boss called me into her office today and said that she wouldn't write me up this time, but if I'm late again I'm screwed. It just irritates me SO much since I've reiterated a gazillion times that I CAN'T BE LATE! And that when I say I have to be at work before 9, I mean it. *headdesk*

So, as we were driving home tonight I told him point blank that I couldn't be late again. That if he's not at my house by 8:30, I'm getting in my car and driving to work. He feels bad, but that's not good enough for me. Why do I have to like someone who doesn't have the same time clock I do? Argh!

***

I was going over my archives for a bit tonight and I'm noticing a sad trend. I've only written (with this post) 53 posts for the year. Eesh. That's just sad. 99% of it is that I just haven't had anything to say, which sucks. Work. No life to speak of. Bleh.

***

I've been losing weight like gangbusters. I bought pants a couple of weeks ago and when I put them on the first day I noticed they were just a bit big. I wore them yesterday and they were so baggy they were hanging around my hips. *shakes head* I'm not complaining by any means, but whoa!

***

I went 2 payments past due on my Lane Bryant account (ducks head in shame). Honestly, it wasn't something I did on purpose. I'd just spaced it. So, I took the bill to work with me and called in to make my payment. As I was waiting for them to answer, I actually took a look at my entire bill and I realized something. When I first got my account, I was approved for a $300 limit. Not much, but nothing to complain about either. As I was reading it, I realized they'd given me an increase of over $500. Say what? LOL! So, that was a bit of a shocker.

***

My friend LBea was super sweet and did something for me at the RWA conference. She's the biggest sweetie ever and I can't believe she did what she did. So, I'm looking forward to getting it. *blushes* Thanks, darlin'.

***

I didn't take a sleeping pill tonight. We'll see how good I sleep. My dreams have been really, really bizarre lately. Like insane bizarre. Maybe I'm going loony in my old age? Pfft.

***

Watched the season finale of Deadliest Catch. So sad. Capt. Phil's life wasn't easy and it's sad that he's passed. I think DC handled his stroke and subsequent death beautifully. Nothing schmatlzy or blech. I've watched that show almost since the beginning, so it was just plain sad to me. *sigh*

***

I DVR'd Rubicon the other night. I need to watch it, but I haven't been in the mood. I've got all these channels with shows I'd like to watch, but I just haven't had the gumption to actually watch them. Bleh. I'm just kind of bleh right now, which is sad. The weather's been gorgeous, I get to see my guy every day, and I'm healthy. You'd think those things would make me happy. They do, just not super-duper-whee happy.

***

And that's about it. I'm going to go get in my jammies and see if I can zonk. Hope y'all have a good & happy Hump Day tomorrow.

Ciao!

Good Day

2010-08-02T23:00:00.001-04:00

This is a monkey...I think. As I was on the phone with a customer, he stopped by my desk and took my pen from me. Grabbed a sticky note and leaned over my coworker's empty desk. Does something for a sec and then put the sticky note on my desk. He drew me a monkey! And we all go "AW!". lol

Then as I was walking down the hall towards the lunch room he was putting stuff in mail slots. He glanced up and saw me, reached into his pocket and pulled out his cell phone. He glanced at it and then back at me. I asked "What, am I late?" "Yeah." Huh...okay then. lol

Oy...I'm such a goober. lol. This is all so goofy and it really shouldn't make me so giddy, but DUDE! It's been such a long time. I'm enjoying it.

And I'm off. I've got some e-books to buy. Whoo!

Grr......

2010-08-01T21:50:00.000-04:00

Eh, I've about had it. I think it's time I trade in my poor car for a new one. With all the work that needs to be done to her...I just can't afford her anymore. It makes me sad too, because I've had her paid off for FIVE years. WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH! Grr...

So, I've been looking online for new cars. I kinda know what I want, but we'll see what I can afford. *sigh* My taste has changed a lot in ten years, so I want to get something a little nicer. Sportier. Sexier. Heh. Like sexier will do me any good. :P

My mom said "So, why don't you ask him to go car shopping with you." Oh, yeah, that would make our relationship SO much better. lol

I had the headache from hell yesterday. I was in bed by 8:30. Slept until 9:30. I dunno what it is about migraines, but I always end up having really bizarre dreams. It drives me nuts. I'm striving VERY hard to make sure my head doesn't start hurting tonight. *sigh*

I got no gumption. My friend was telling me I know too much about him, since I know what his plans were for this weekend. It's not my fault he talks to me! *blushes* It's nice though. Now, if I could just get him to like me. "You will like MMMMMMMMEEEEEEEEEEEEE." Osmosis might work, yeah? lol

Yesterday I felt like crap. Today I'm just feeling tired. I don't want the weekend to be over already. They always go by too fast. The only consolation I have is that I'll get to see him tomorrow. Yay!

I'm trying to get back into the writing mode, but I think I've lost my mojo. Bleh. I don't know what's wrong with me. Summer blues? I dunno, but it's getting on my nerves. Boo!

So, it's off to go car shopping. *whimpers* Help me!

Patience is NOT One Of My Virtues

2010-07-29T21:57:00.000-04:00

*sigh* I'm trying REALLY hard. Trust me. However, my patience is nearly to the breaking point. This waiting thing sucks. I'm waiting until he leaves next month for surgery. If things haven't gotten somewhere by that point...*headdesk* Patience, Bridget. Patience.

On a different note...oh, who am I kidding? I don't have a different note. People who're in a relationship who say they miss these days...Are You KIDDING Me? Seriously, why would anyone want to go back to the awful, awkward stage of a relationship that may/may not exist? If I could skip all this crap and find myself in a good, stable relationship immediately, I would in a heartbeat. I suck at this stuff anyway, which my lack of dating proves.

Grr. So, I'm sitting here twiddling my thumbs. I'm trying. *headdesk*

no title

2010-07-27T22:56:00.000-04:00

Yeah, I'm really creative. Heh.

So, the carpooling it goes. I'm still not sure how or why this has happened, but am I happy it happened. :) I love riding with him so much. We talk. We laugh. I pick on his grumpiness (shhhhh).

And I'm in serious like with this guy. Oy. So, there you go.

I had a good weekend. For some insane reason decided taking a walk was a good idea, so I did. Shockingly, it actually felt good. *gasp* I know! I'm as shocked as you are.

Sunday was hanging w/ my niece. Pedis. Lunch. Lots of talking. Bless her.

Read a very interesting copy of Cosmo. VVVVVVVVVVVEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRRRRRYYYYYYYYYYY interesting. It was like the fates were trying to tell me something. If this issue didn't fit my needs... *eye roll*

I'm insanely tired. I couldn't get to sleep last night, so ended up being restless for most of the night. Finally hit REM sleep around 1:30 or so. *yawn* I hate it when I do this.

I just want to jump him. Is this wrong? If it is, I don't care. :D

stuff & things

2010-07-25T02:36:00.000-04:00

Oy. I'm having to type this out on my BlackBerry because my router doesn't want to work tonight. I hate it when my 'puter doesn't want to work like it should. :(

I woke up at 8 this morning with an absolutely horrendous sinus headache. I spread icy-hot over my forehead, took a pill and went back to bed. Sadly, sleep was not to be had and I finally have up around 10ish.

I don't know what possessed me, but I really wanted to go on a walk. I know!? Me! So, I got out some exercise clothes I bought over a year ago and went to go out them on, when I realized that I couldn't wear the pants because they were HUGE! I've lost so much weight that none of my clothes fit anymore. But these shocked me.

So, I found the ones I bought a month or so ago and went on a walk. I put Trance on my i-pod and started off. I walked a mile in a little less than an hour. For me, that's amazing! I went up to blockbuster to see if they had a video game I was looking for. They didn't, so I traded the one I'd rented a month or so ago for another.

Walked to this Asian bakery and bought breakfast and went home. I was absolutely drenched in sweat. Not only had I exercised, but it was already getting hot. So proud of myself. :D

I had a good, long talk with my friend V last night. Here's the thing, any woman who's liked a guy has deluded herself into thinking the guy's into her because it's what she wants. I've done it myself, so i've been really wworried that I was doing in regard to him, but after talking to her and telling her all the things he's said and done to/for me, she made me realize that I'm not delusional and that there really does have to be something there. No guy does the things he does for just any ol' woman, you know?

Plus V did point out that he's coming across as a bit old-fashioned in certain ways, which I have to admit I like. He treats me with respect, which is just plain sexy to me. And it doesn't hurt that he's hot. :P

V and I are meeting up tomorrow for a girl day. I'm really looking forward to it. Shopping, pedis, lunch at sweet tomatoes. Life is good.

I bought a skirt yesterday in a size I haven't worn since I was 18, so I'm admittedly in shock. And what did I do? I left it at work. So, I texted my old carpool buddy and friend and asked him if he'd bring it home with him since he worked today. I love my friends. :D so, when V and I hang out tomorrow, I get to pick it up. He lives 6 blocks away from me. It's not like he lives on the other side of town. *cough, cough*

All in all, I'm in a fantastic mood. I love being in like with someone. He's the only thing that makes going to work worth it anymore...and that's just sad.

I'm off to bed. Night!

Carpooling Is a Good Idea, Right?

2010-07-22T22:42:00.000-04:00

So, yeah. 99% of the time this carpooling thing works fine. Today...not so much. 8:30 comes and goes. I text him "Are you on your way?" "Yes" 10 minutes later he shows up. He got me to work just 2 minutes late, but I was VERY unhappy with him.

As we walked into work I looked up at the clock and said "Oh, crap." He ran his finger up and down my back and told me he was sorry (aw shucks). My boss was cool because I am NEVER late. I told him that we couldn't do that anymore and that if this thing was going to continue, he had to be ontime. We shall see.

I got off work at 4:30 and texted him that I was off, but that I wouldn't be going home b/c A. I refuse to take the bus during rush hour traffic. B. I wanted to ride with him and C. I wanted to work on my editing w/o any distractions and since nobody would be in the lunchroom, I could. So, he texted me and said he'd meet me at my desk at 5:30.

As we were driving home, I handed him $15 and he asked me why. I told him it was gas money and he actually got offended. I pay for parking, so he couldn't understand why I wanted to pay him gas money. I finally told him to suck it up. lol. I said I'd been raised well and when someone else drives, you give them gas money. He took it, but put the kabosh on any future gas. So, there you go.

Here's the thing; when I used to carpool with a certain someone, the drive was always kind of boring. He'd only speak in grunts and such. With my guy, he talks to me. We've discussed everything from music to stupidity of fellow drivers and bicyclists. It's a bit ridiculous. Plus, he makes me laugh. He was getting seriously peeved today because traffic was so bad and I started laughing because he was being so grouchy. I told him he had no control over it and to just suck it up. I'm so nice. Heh

And so, that's what's been happening. I'd really like this to go somewhere, so we'll see. I just wish I was some super-confident woman who could just say to him "I like you...a lot" and see what happens. Instead, I tease him and brush nonexistent lint off his shirt. *blushes* I'm such a dork. *shakes head*

Indecisive Should Be My Middle Name sigh

2010-07-21T22:47:00.000-04:00

Yes, it truly should. :P I'm such a goober sometimes, it's pathetic. I'm almost 34. I should have the confidence in myself to be able to tell a guy "I like you." Ha! That's funny. *shakes head*

I'm not even going to go into all the things I have running thru my head. It's exhausting me, so I won't torture y'all. lol

On a side note, read Revelation by Lauren Dane. It was awesome. Can't wait for the next de la vega book. Yum. That woman writes some truly scrumptious heroes. Just sayin'.

Carpooling Day 1 (lol)

2010-07-19T23:17:00.000-04:00

So, we survived day 1 of the carpool experiment. lol. Did it go off w/o a hitch? No, but I still got to work on time, which is the most important thing. That and his car has a crush on me. Heh. I couldn't get out of the seatbelt and I told him his car didn't like me. He said "Are you sure it doesn't like you or does it like you too much?" Heh.

Okay, so I'm a dork. Do you have any idea how long it's been since I've even gone on a date? It's ridiculous. So I'm allowed to get all goofy over a guy who's adorable and who makes me laugh. That's the most important thing. Right? :D

Bleh

2010-07-18T20:37:00.000-04:00

My head hurts. I don't know why; it just does. I think it's sinuses. My mom & I went on a nice walk this morning and got into some bushes of some sort. All I know is that they stunk really bad. Icky!

Today I did some cleaning to hopefully eradicate this ridiculous ant issue we've got going on here. It's so annoying. They are EVERYWHERE! *headdesk*

Hmm...what else? I was going to go grocery shopping, but I wasn't in the mood. So, tomorrow will be PB&J for lunch. I like PB&J, so I'm okay with that.

Carpooling starts tomorrow. After much backandforth, we've established the time he's coming to pick me up tomorrow. If he gets me there late, there will be hell to pay. Grrr...

And I'm done. I'm going to take some pills and chill for the next couple of hours. Have a great week everyone! *waves*

scratches head I'm...Confuzzled

2010-07-16T23:05:00.000-04:00

Like that's a surprise, right? *sigh* You know, I give up. I do. I can never tell if a guy is really into me or not. Yes, I'm that hopeless. Bleh.

Yesterday I was coming back from or going to (can't remember) lunch and my crush was standing by the mail slots putting stuff in them. I stopped to chat like I usually do. He asked me if I lived in the area he thought I did. I said yes. He hemmed and hawed before taking a deep breath and asking me if I'd like to carpool with him. Now, I wouldn't think too much about this if he didn't live on the other side of the city. He's going to have to drive out of his way to pick me up. Hmm...

Plus...well, I dunno. At this point I'm just kinda gobsmacked by it all. Maybe being in a car together for at least 20 minutes every day will give us a chance to know each other and see what happens. I'd love something to HAPPEN. *headdesk* ARGH!!!!!

I've Been Hacked!

2010-07-10T01:28:00.000-04:00

*headdesk* Woke up this morning to about 1000 emails from people saying "You've been hacked." Some evil punk in China compromised my gmail account. So, I changed the password and here's hoping I can keep the email. Gmail was right on it too. I got an immediate email from them telling me that I'd been hacked. So, gmail good. :)

It's hot. I'm cranky. I'm tired. I was up at 8:30 this morning due to Dylan falling down and scraping up his legs. He was screaming at the top of his lungs and even I can't sleep through that. *sigh*

Otherwise, decent day. Marine air's coming in, so the temp is dropping. Yay! This close to 100 degree heat sucks monkey butt. That is all.

First Kiss

2010-07-08T03:24:00.000-04:00

I'm writing this blog entry in response to this great entry my buddy Orannia wrote. I was going to write a comment and then realized the story would be too long for a comment...plus half my comments don't get published on her page for some weird reason.

Anyhoodles, my first real kiss was with my first boyfriend. Talk about not knowing anything. *shakes head* I mean, I knew the logistics of stuff, but the actual doing of stuff was completely beyond me. *sigh*

P was a saint though. A girl couldn't ask for a better first boyfriend. The man had the patience of a I don't know what. All I know is that most guys who are 25 are usually concerned about getting into a girl's pants. He wasn't. Well, he was, but he was willing to move slow with me (bless him).

We'd gone out twice and were at his apartment. He'd lived in the place for over a year, but his living room was piled high with boxes, so we used to hang out in his room all the time. I was laying on my stomach on his bed and we'd been talking about all kinds of stuff when he looked at me and asked me if he could kiss me.

Now, I gotta tell ya, I was SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO nervous. I'd asked my mom before I'd gone out with him how you actually kissed someone. What if tongue got involved? lol. My mom was awesome though and just said to relax my lips and let it just flow...not to force anything.

So, when I nodded and he leaned forward to kiss me, I followed my mom's instructions. He placed his lips ever so gently over mine and I kept my lips relaxed. Man, that boy could kiss. Never sloppy, no slimy tongue shoved down my throat, just the simplest of kisses and yet it was one of the best. We spent a lot of time kissing after that, but I'll never forget my first kiss.

Heat Wave.

2010-07-08T03:18:00.000-04:00

Blech! We went from 60 on Monday to 95 today. My body's screaming. That's the one thing I hate about Portland. We aren't allowed to acclimate. One minute it's cold and the next it's so hot I feel like I'm melting. *sigh*

I'm on vacation, which has been lovely. I've been able to play catch-up with most of my friends and it's just been nice to chill. I'm staying up late and waking up early. *shakes head* I'm driving myself nuts. lol

Still having the computer issues from hell which is driving me batty. Tomorrow I'm going to pack up my laptop and go to the cafe my friend Jenna turned me on to. It's private and quiet and I want to write. Plus, it's supposed to be about 100 tomorrow, so I'll be happy for air conditioning. *sigh*

All in all, I'm doing well. Been sleeping really well...once I finally fall asleep. :)

Got to play with the boys today. We had the pool set up and they got in a water fight with Grandma. Of course, Coopy had to come and dump a giant bowl of water right in my lap. Thankfully I hadn't taken a shower yet, so it really wasn't THAT big of a deal. Plus the cold water felt good! :)

I haven't made any plans for the rest of my vacation. I plan on just relaxing and having a good time. I've caught up with who I wanted to catch up with and now just need some time for me. It should be nice. :)

Ciao!

Argh!

2010-07-04T02:03:00.000-04:00

I've been having an awful time connecting to the internet at home. Our router is dying, so it's having all kinds of issues. *sigh* Right now I just can't afford to do anything about it. It's driving me nuts. :(

I was able to find a song. It'd been playing on a North & South montage and I just loved the song, but it's been forever since I'd seen it. Couldn't remember the name or the artist. Found it! Whoo! It's Beautiful Goodbye by Amanda Marshall and it's just full of win.

I'm good. On vacation for a week. So happy. I'm exhausted. Things are really jacked up for me right now, so this week off will do me a world of good. I've got a lot of catching up to do, so I'm hanging out with friends left and right.

I really just want to sleep. I've read two super-excellent books over the last two days. Laid Bare and Coming Undone by Lauren Dane. I *heart* her anyway, but these books were really hard reads. Dark. Kind of disturbing, but scorching hot. I liked Coming Undone better, which kind of surprised me.

I was also lucky and was able to get Bonds of Justice by Nalini Singh on Wednesday. It's not due out until Tuesday. Yes, I bought it early. I suck. :( It was good. Not my favorite, but still ranked up high. I just plain love her writing. I'm a dork. lol

I've been hitting a brick wall with my paranormal series. It just wasn't jelling with me in any way, shape or form, but...I hope and think I've come up with a solution. I went over it with two writer friends to get their perspectives and they really liked it, so I'm going to do some tweaking and see what I come up with. I'm so excited! Whoo!

I met up with my friend Jenna for a writing day, but we ended up talking just about the entire time. Ha! So, we've come to the conclusion that if we do this again, we're bringing music to listen to. lol

Met up with my other buddy Delilah today for a good old catchup session. She's in the midst of writer hell, so I dragged her away from her computer. Okay, it wasn't THAT bad, but we haven't seen each other in a long time, so it was good to catch up. Funny story...I got there first and had found us a table. Delilah walks in, gives me a hug and we sit down and start gabbing. Order our food and she asks me what I'm reading. I show her Laid Bare and we start talking about erotica, sex, etc. This elderly couple was sitting kitty-corner to us and you should've seen their expressions. It was so funny. I'm so mean. heh

And that's about it. Next week's going to be busy, but in a good way. Yay!

Stuff & Things & Such

2010-06-28T22:29:00.000-04:00

*sigh*

Our router hates us. That's the only conclusion I can come up with. Argh! I haven't been able to get online via my laptop for over a week and have only been able to use Twitter at work or on my I-Pod Touch.

I'm good. Looking forward to my vacation next week. I've already got plans for almost every day next week, so though I won't be at work, I'll be busy.

Saturday my friend Jenna & I are meeting somewhere to have a "writing" day, since we both write and need some place to hang. I think it'll be a lot of fun. She's a blast to hang out with and I like her sense of humor. She's a bit nuts, which makes life fun. She's in good company. Ha! :)

I haven't been sleeping very well these last few weeks. I don't know what it is about me that I just can't seem to sleep. It's driving me nuts.

I think 99% of my problem is that I just can't seem to shut down my brain. It likes to run in circles. It's a wonder I don't spend my life dizzy. heh

I'm doing all right though. Work's really, really slow right now, which sucks, but that'll change soon. My job is very cyclical. One minute it's busy and then it's dead again. Happens every year.

And that's about it. I need a vacation. Wait...I get one next week. Ha! :D

Blah...

2010-06-21T22:35:00.000-04:00

Yep, I've got the blahs. I think it's PMS too, which sucks. *sigh* Just need some time to myself. Peace would be good. :P

Had a good weekend though. Got off work on Friday and met up with my friend Jenna at this restaurant called Country Cat. They are expensive, but their food is...AMAZING! I totally pigged out, but at least my food was better for me than what she ate. hah!

Saturday my "niece" and I hung out. Went shopping, got pedis and then at Chang's. Mmm...love Chang's.

Yesterday I was a lazy butt and did absolutely NOTHING and it was good. :) Wish my weekends were always like that.

And in all honesty, that's about it. I'm tired. Haven't been sleeping very well lately, so I'm hoping I'll zonk out tonight. I need some zzzzz's.

I downloaded the pdf reader app for my I-Pod Touch. Too much fun. I"m so bad. Not that I care. Ha!

Just feeling blah. Need some time to myself. That's all I really want right now. *sigh*

Hmm...

2010-06-13T23:21:00.000-04:00

Talk about a gorgeous day. Sadly, the clouds are coming back. Oh the joys of living in Oregon. *eye roll*

I spent the day cleaning my room. Man, I suck. Why didn't I inherit the neatnik genes of my mom? Why?!

Have a headache now due to all the ugh I stirred up. It's been a wet spring, so no matter how clean I keep my room, it gets funky after awhile. I really need to scour it down to the floorboards, but I just don't got the energy. And my English just degenerated. heh

I'm going to be over on DIK for the next couple of days. Nothing profound. Just me talking. Like that's a surprise, right? :D

I'm doing all right though. Next weekend I actually have plans. *gasp* I know! It's a shocker even to me. heh

Let's see...hmm, well I gotta admit I've got nothin'. I'm tired and need to go change my sheets so I can go to bed. I'd rather go sit out on the back porch and enjoy the sun while it lasts. *sigh*

I Am FINISHED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2010-06-12T00:37:00.001-04:00

You heard right, people. I finished the novella at work today. *fanfare* To say I'm giddy is a bit of an understatement. I've never finished anything before (shhhh) and so this a major thing for me.

Is it any good? Mmm...well, not at the moment. It needs some serious editing. BUT...I finished it. See, that's the good thing. :)

WHHHHHHHHHHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

Things & Such

2010-06-09T22:23:00.000-04:00

I was going to write this blog about a completely different subject, but decided that the topic wasn't worth talking about.

I'm admittedly feeling a bit...blue right now. Frustrated with myself, my lack of my own space and the fact that at almost 34, I'm still living at home with my parents. For the most part, it's not a bad arrangement. I help my mom out, usually with the laundry since it's something I can do at night and not bother anyone. The biggest issue is my lack of cleaning skills (I'm being nice to myself here).

I've always been a slob, ever since I can remember. I'm not a neatnik like my parents and it's a major bone of contention between all of us. My mom's the one stuck in the middle and it can make for some very tense moments. I admit it, my room's an absolute disaster. What drives ME nuts is that it's MY own personal space. MINE! I don't leave anything out in the house that'd be messy. It's only in my room.

I'm frustrated because I'd seriously hoped I'd be in my own place. But, big bills came up unexpectedly and all of my savings had to go towards that. It's just this never-ending cycle of crap that just WILL NOT GO AWAY!!!! *headdesk*

I make $12.50ish an hour. To some people that seems like a lot of money, but it's so not, especially here in Oregon where the cost of living's not very cheap. I've got my paycheck divided amongst bills and have a small amount left over that goes into savings. I keep just enough out to buy a book or maybe go out with friends. I had almost $3000 in savings and it all went bye-bye. *headdesk*

I could find a roommate, but I've done that already and HATED it. I want MY OWN SPACE! I can't even tell you how much. *sigh*

****

On the only real happy note I've got right now, I'm writing and writing and writing! I'd say maybe 20 or so pages and I'll be done with this novella. It's rough and definitely needs a lot of editing, but I'm almost done! It'll be the first anything I've ever finished. Whoot!

stuff & blah

2010-06-08T12:37:00.000-04:00

So, today I'm doing jury duty. There are things I'd much rather be doing, but then again there are a lot of things I'm glad to avoid. Work is the major thing.

Sitting here trying to keep myself occupied. Bored out of my mind. Here's hoping I he put early. Whoo-hoo! Ha!

Been trying to blog for the last few days, but the interwebs at home are not wanting to work.

I'm doing well, I suppose. Work's been busy, which makes it nice. The days go by faster, which is always good. I've been writing up a storm, which is even better. Here's hoping that some day I can do it for a living. There's wishful thinking for you. Ha!

I'm really hoping that this novella I'm working on goes somewhere. I'm tired of not doing anything with my writing. *sigh* oh well, I'm doing something now which is what matters the most.

And that's sadly about it. I'd love to say my life is exciting and such, but sadly I'm boring. How sad. :(

The "I love this author because..." Blog Post

2010-06-03T23:07:00.000-04:00

Kassa (sorry, I don't know your blog addy...for shame!) had this awesome suggestion to write a "letter" addressed to our favorite author. She thought (and I agree) that it would be nice to show authors we love our appreciation. Mine is going to be a little different because...well, because it is. :) Instead of favorite author (because, let's be honest here...I love WAY too many authors), I'm going to thank certain authors for certain books. Enjoy! Or not. Heh.

Dear Lisa Kleypas, LaVyrle Spencer, Deidre Knight, Nalini Singh, Katie Allen, and I'm sure I'll think of more as I go along,

I'm writing this letter to you, not as a crazy fangirl, but as a true lover of the written word. Each of you has written a book that's smacked me sideways in some way, shape or form.

Dear Lisa,

Blue-Eyed Devil and Secrets of a Summer's Night are two of my all-time favorite books. I've read them over and over and over again and every time I pick up something new. In BED, the relationship between Haven and Hardy just rips my heart out and then puts it all back together again. In SoaSN...*sigh* Simon Hunt. To me he is the epitome of yum. Sexy, dark, brooding, sweet, sensitive, everything a man needs to be and more. The boots? Oh, yeah, you got me good on that one. :)

Dear LaVyrle,

If I could give you any idea just how much I love the book Years, well, it's kind of ridiculous. I read that book the first time when I was 12 and I have read it at least once a year every year since then (that'll be 22 years in a couple of months). Teddy and Linnea...sheesh, I can't even think of what to say. All I know is that Years is THE book for me. Hands down.

Dear Deidre,

What can I say about Butterfly Tattoo? In all honesty, I don't think I'll ever be able to read it again. It was one of the hardest reads I've ever had in my life and yet it is also one of the most beautiful books I've ever read. I've never read a book that's hit me so hard emotionally since then. All I know is that I'm so glad you were given the opportunity to get it out there for the world to see. It's something I think every body should read at least once. It'd probably bust their heads right open, but in the end it'd be worth it.

Dear Nalini,

If ever there was an author I'd totally fan-girl squeal over, it'd be you. :) I love your books. I think that about says it, right? :D

Dear Katie,

Breaking the Silence is one of my favorite books. Love it! :)

And for all of the other authors out there I didn't mention, but I still love, keep up the good work...please? Thank you!

Sincerely,

A Definite Fan-Girl/Reader/Writer/Fan...wait, I said that already

Bleh

2010-06-01T22:17:00.000-04:00

I'm tired. I didn't sleep well over the weekend due to sinus issues from hell and I'm just stinkin' sleepy! Sheesh!

I'm doing well though. My friend J is having me edit her work. I'm having writer envy. *shakes head* Her story idea is awesome. Sure, it's rough, but that's what rough drafts are for. I'm having a great deal of fun reading and coming up with plot ideas. She's so going to hate me by the time I'm done. *evil laugh*

I've been writing as well, which is fun. This novella is really flying out of my head. It's hard to stop. Sadly, my brain's mush, so it'll probably be a bunch of crap by the time I'm done. Argh!

Reading, reading, reading. In the midst of the latest Richelle Mead Vampire Academy books. Oy! It's breakin' my heart! She better come up with a good resolution or I'm going to have a hard-core hissy fit. Grr...

I've been having too much fun looking for music. I've found some bands I never thought I'd listen to. One of them is Five Finger Death Punch. The lead singer's got this really unique voice and one of the guitarists is super-yummy hot. Oy! Step away from the bad boy rockers. *sheepish*

And that's about it. Reading, writing, editing. Whoo!

Whoo Part 2

2010-05-27T22:38:00.000-04:00

Here's Ilona's take on the signing. If you click on the link to the pictures, I'm the third from the last picture. I feel so special. :D

Last Night

2010-05-26T23:03:00.000-04:00

*sigh*

You know, I have to say straight up that I really, really like my town. Portland rocks! Why do I say that? Because of things like last night.

As some of you may know, the super-duper talented writing team of Ilona Andrews recently moved to my neck of the woods. Shortly thereafter, an announcement went up on their blog saying they would be having a signing out in Beaverton.

Of course me being me, I had to be there. :)

So, I got off work crazy early yesterday (3:30) and drove out to Beaverton. I was to meet Meljean for dinner, but things didn't work out as planned, so when my friend Jenna showed up, we made a beeline to Starbucks. As soon as I walked in, I saw Ilona. Thankfully, she looks like her picture, so I could identify her. :D

We got drinks, I spotted Meljean, we hugged, walked over and plopped down in seats next to Ilona. We spent the next hour and a half in stitches. Ilona is as funny in person (if not more so) than she is on paper and we had a couple of really good laughs. About 6:50, we walked through the mall to the signing.

Lilith Saintcrow was the moderator and she was a kick. Instead of a reading there was a Q&A. Some great questions were asked and the answers weren't too shabby either. :) After the Q&A, we got down to the signing. Gordon & Ilona sat next to each other, Lilith was in the middle and Devon (Dev awn) Monk sat at the other end. There was quite a crowd, but each author gave you a second to really talk to them and you didn't feel rushed (which is what usually happens).

Sadly, I lost Meljean in the insanity and she left before I got a chance to say goodbye :(. All in all though, it was a great night. My friend Jenna had a blast and it was nice to get a chance to see acquaintances I've made via these signings. It's usually the same people, so you kind of get to know each other as you attend.

I've got pictures, but my phone and computer are not wanting to cooperate. So, I'll put them up when I can. If you ever get the opportunity to meet any of these authors, I can't say it enough. DO IT! Intelligent conversation, funny jokes and just an overall awesome time.

And I could've done it again tonight with Julia Quinn, but I gotta tell ya, I'm exhausted. I didn't get home until around 10:30 and couldn't fall asleep right away. *yawn*

***

On a totally different subject, I'm writing up a storm! I'm so excited I can hardly stand myself. :) I had this idea for a novella smack me in the head a week or so ago and have been working on it when I can. Sadly, this is usually at work, so it's freehand in a small journal with a mechanical pencil. Yes, I'm that old-school. *rolls eyes*

It's an erotica, so it's been interesting. The heroine cracks me up and the hero's scrumptious. Yay!

And that's about it. Work, writing, sleep. Yes, my life is complete. *sigh*

Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2010-05-26T01:13:00.000-04:00

I had a truly awesome, spectacular night. I'm zonked and should be in bed right now. I'll blog more tomorrow when I can think straight. Later!

Relatively Quick Post

2010-05-18T00:13:00.000-04:00

*snort* Yeah, right! :~P

Nah, it's gonna be a quickie. I was a very, very naughty girl yesterday & bought myself an I-Pod Touch. Eep! But...it's pretty and super user friendly and did I mention it's pretty? :) Plus, I've got jury duty in a few weeks (boo!) and didn't want to have to drag my laptop with me. It's got email, games, etc. The only thing it can't really do is take pictures or phone calls. I'm in love! Whoo!

And that's it. Sad.

Ciao!

She's Alive? said with a gasp and a hand to the mouth

2010-05-14T23:43:00.000-04:00

I should probably feel really guilty for disappearing like I have. I think I just got so overwhelmed by everything that’s been going on in my life that I chose to step back from things that I had control over; things like my time online.

I’m tired…so very tired. Work has been busy and chaotic (typical). I come home from work and all I want to do is vegetate. I’ve been reading up a storm and playing video games. I’m doing things that don’t require work. As sad as it sounds, the internet was becoming work.

I feel bad for the friends who feel like I’ve left them behind. I’m going to strive to keep in better contact and to stay in the blogosphere, even if it’s just to write a quick blog saying I’m alive. With the way things have been going lately, that in itself is a miracle.

Tomorrow is going to be a busy day. When I went down to the beach last week, I noticed that my brakes are pretty screechy and that I need to have them checked. I decided today to have my shocks checked too, because I feel EVERYTHING when I drive. Sad. So, tomorrow, I get to hang out at Les Schwab in the hopes that I can get it all fixed tomorrow. *crossing fingers*

For the last month or so I’ve been having these insanely vivid dreams. They are so realistic that when I wake up, I feel both sad that they’re over and caught off guard, because in my subconscious what I’ve been experiencing has been so real.

I’ve come to the conclusion that my subconscious is screaming at me that I need a guy. *sigh* My prospects in the dating world are nonexistent and that’s being generous. I don’t know why crap like this happens to me. 99% of the time I’m fine with the way my life is. I’m…not necessarily content, but not unhappy. And then that 1% rears its ugly head and I can’t help but feel…blue.

I hate it! Hate it, hate it, hate it! I’m not into the party scene, so I don’t meet guys that way. I’m not really into going out all that much, so I’m basically screwed in the meeting new people category. The guy I think is cute is so not into me and well, whatever.

My beach trip was beyond fantastic. I got down to the beach on Tuesday May 4th about 7:45. I stopped at Safeway to pick up the essentials, grabbed a salad from Kyllos and got to my hotel room around 8:30 or so. By that point I was so hungry that I basically inhaled my food. Heh! We don’t have HGTV at home anymore, so I gorged myself on HGTV, the Disney Channel and all the other channels I don’t have. Lol!

On Wednesday I was a lazy butt and did absolutely nothing. I didn’t even leave my hotel room until that night for dinner and that was just to grab something and go back to my hotel. I didn’t realize just how completely exhausted I was until I got down there. I just wanted to vegetate and it WAS LOVELY! I need to do it more often.

Thursday I woke up late, ate a leisurely breakfast, took a shower, and went shopping. I stopped by my favorite little bookstore and didn’t find anything I liked (boo!), then stopped at this little snack place where I bought a ridiculous amount of Jelly Belly Jellybeans. So good! They have all the “normal” flavors as well as flavors that showcase the NW like huckleberry and some other fruit flavors. Yummy!

Friday morning I came home and met up with my friend T for lunch. I’d bought her this really cool poster of a fairy that I gave her. She gave me a really neat window catcher that she bought for me in Hawaii. We had a great time catching up and then I went home. Yes, my life is THAT exciting! Lol.

I came back to work on Monday to, well, not chaos, but kind of a disaster. Thankfully it wasn’t anywhere near as bad as my last return from vacation, so I was able to catch up quite easily. Yay!

And today is Friday. It was pay day and the weather outside is delicious. I can’t wait to go out and chill for a bit. I get to buy myself dinner, so I’m trying to decide where I want to go. Mexican? Pizza? Chinese? The options are limitless. Heh

And I’m off. I hope y’all didn’t miss me too much or forget that I’m alive. Heh…I know, I’m evil. Have a great weekend, y’all!

Ciao!

Eesh!

2010-05-03T22:18:00.000-04:00

Wow, I really disappeared there for awhile. I decided to take a long needed hiatus from the interwebs for the month of April. Things have just been so chaotic and insane; trying to keep up with stuff online was making my head hurt. So, I ran away for awhile.

I'm still discombobulated and very tired. Leaving for the beach after work tomorrow. I wish I could stay there forever, but I'm coming home on Friday. *sigh* I just need a couple of days just to myself; no noise, no worries. Sleep would definitely be good. :)

I'm going to my usual hotel and I plan on doing absolutely nothing. I'm telling them to leave me be; no maid service or anything. I just want to sleep. How sad is that? lol

I've got a bazillion books to read, which makes my bibliophile heart happy. I hope to read them all. Plus watch movies, eat too much food and sleep. Sleep is obviously my biggest wish. I'm nothing if not obvious. lol

And honestly I've got nothing else to say. I feel bad that I've ditched y'all. It wasn't truly on purpose. I just needed some me time. Here's hoping I'll be back more often. Yay!

Ciao!

Oy!

2010-04-04T16:38:00.000-04:00

I disappeared there for awhile. Shame on me. *shakes head*

I've been busy...it's true! Trying to pay off debt (only a few more payments left...whoo!) and stuff. I've basically lost my mind (again) and I'm tired.

I'm hoping to get a few days off at the end of this month. 2010 marks my five-year anniversary at my job, so now I get 3 full weeks paid vacation. Who knew it'd be so hard to figure out 17 days worth of vacation a year? lol. But, I asked for the week of my b-day off, the week of 4th of July, a couple of days this month. Basically, vacation days every 3 months. Yay me! I hope I get them all. :)

I've been doing a lot of thinking, soul-searching, thinking, soul-searching...you get the gyst. Anywhoo, I'm hoping some things will clear up for me sooner rather than later and I can start planning my future a little better than I have been. *sigh* I so royally screwed myself when it comes to my finances I'm amazed I'm seeing the light at the end of the tunnel. But, I've learned my lesson and I will NEVER do it again. NEVER!

Been playing with an idea for a novella. It'll be an erotica, but not too erotic. lol. I'm a huge fan of friends-to-lovers and I had this idea pop into my head about a month ago. I've been tweaking the idea and now I think I'm ready to write it. I'm really excited, because it should be pretty easy. Something sweet and sexy and fun. :) I'm all for it! :D

Today's Easter. My dad's performing in a play at my parents church and I might go. I've been feeling peaky for a couple of days. If I don't go, I can watch it online. My dad the actor. heh.

My nephews are now 4 and 2. They've gotten so big! And so very handsome. :) I'm not biased, I tells ya! lol

And that's about all right now. Lots of things on my mind, but not a lot I'd like to talk about. I'm emailing Sourcebooks and opting out of reviewing for them. Ever since I got these new job responsibilities, my brain's not been in the reviewing state of mind. I'll review the last few I've GOT to review and then I'm shutting down my old review site. I just don't have time anymore. *sigh* It makes me sad. :(

And I'm off. Going to start fleshing out this story idea. Hope everyone's having a great day!

Ciao!

So Tired

2010-03-18T22:38:00.000-04:00

Truly, so tired.

Work's crazy. I'm crazy. Life's crazy. Yeah, all in all I'm a wee bit exhausted. I'd kill for weeklong hibernation. *yawn*

I went & bought SO by Peter Gabriel. Got it for $1.64. Otherwise it would've been about $100 brand new. Bummer! I need to buy Hunting High & Low by a-ha. I love that CD. That & I DO NOT WANT WHAT I HAVE NOT GOT by Sinead O'Connor. She's insane, but I love that CD too. :)

Other than work driving me batty, I'm not bad. Finally playing God of War III. I'm an absolute geek and I'm proud of it. :D

In all honesty, I got nothin'. Oh, I did go and spoil myself just a wee bit. I bought a 32 Inch HDTV Flat screen. Got it for $349 at Best Buy. I *heart* Best Buy. It's so pretty. :)

I'm doing dabwaha again. Too fun, but I didn't do so good with my choices. :( Ilona Andrews is losing! Why'd she get put up against Charlaine Harris? Why I ask? *sigh*

Been looking at apartments for my move (whenever that is...*huffy sigh*). I'm looking at maybe getting a manufactured home. In all honesty, renting is just a waste of money. You can get some really nice MH's for not a buttload of money. I'm almost done paying off debt and then I can start tossing fundage into savings. I know right now I can't afford a real house. I'd love to buy a house, but even in this market, I can't afford it. *sad*

So, that's what's going on my end. I'm gonna go read. Ciao & stuff.

Quickie

2010-03-10T00:20:00.002-05:00

Egads, I've reverted back to 8th grade. Should I tell him? Or should I leave be? That is the question. *sigh*

Heh snorts

2010-03-10T00:20:00.001-05:00

To Whom It May Concern

2010-03-05T00:42:00.000-05:00

Otherwise known as "the guy". Sheesh, sometimes I think you know I,m interested in you. You do things or say things that make a little question mark pop up over my head.

I told my mom the other day that I wished love, crushes, etc were like they were on the Sims. A little heart would pop up over my head & you'd be able to see just how much I like you.

Yesterday when you waylaid me in the hall just to tell me you'd spent most of the previous night playing the game I'd suggested, I wanted to just lean against you & ignore the world for awhile.

The day before that when I was in your department talking to your coworker and you came in behind me, you really didn't have to stand so close to me; but I'm glad you did. When I turned to leave and ran into you, you didn't step back...you held your ground and I love how solid you are.

For once I like a guy who doesn't make me feel like a giant ogre. It's been so long since i've been this attracted to someone. Sure, there were a couple of guys I made an idiot of myself over, but not like this.

Does our age difference bother me? Not at all. I like the idea of being the older woman. Guys your age have a lot of stamina and you're in great shape. Ha!

I love watching you move. Your back is just yum.

I'm going to read this tomorrow & wonder what kind of crack I was smoking, but for now...eh, it's the way I feel. One of these days I'm going to have to verbalize it. I'm scared to death it won't be reciprocated. So, for now, I'll just post my thoughts on my blog for the world to see.

Subtle I am not.

Getting Up The Guts...

2010-03-03T22:37:00.000-05:00

Is really, really hard for me to do.

Here's the thing (and I've said it a thousand times before), I am CRAZY shy when it comes to guys. I mean CRAZY. Ironically, if I'm not interested in them, I'm more comfortable around men. Go figure. *sigh*

Anyhoodles, I've talked about the "guy" before. He's gotta be close to ten years younger than me, but I'm completely, 100% okay with that. He's adorable, he makes me smile and we have a lot of the same interests. Right now it's all about the video games. I let him borrow Heavy Rain from me and slipped my cell # in with it ('cause I'm sneaky like that).

I'm trying really hard to flirt with him in a way that's obvious without being ridiculous. He reciprocates, but I'm really afraid it's all for not, ya know? Plus, we work together, so if I let out that can of worms, it could turn into a giant crapfest. So...what to do? Do I tell him I'm interested or just leave it be? Choices, choices, choices. *sigh*

But he's so cute! And he makes me laugh! Argh! *headdesk*

Reading, Writing, and Life...Oh My!

I'm Alive, Happy New Year & Other Stuff

So Much

Song I'm Addicted To

Eep!

*yawn*

Disappearing Act

Anxiety Sucks

PMS Sucks & Other Things

Stuff & Things & Such

*sigh*

I'm Trying

Oy

Quickish Post

Ack!

An Extended Version of the Previous Post

Super Quick

So Much

I'm Alive...I Think

My Fan Letter

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!! *thuds*

I'm Alive! Honestly! Ha!

Fly-By Post

Ouchies!

*Yawn*

*sigh*

I'm Alive!

Where Do I Begin?

Short...And Maybe Sweet

*whimper*

Two Weeks

Nom-Nom-Nom

Egads

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

Huh...

Eesh

Huh

Books & Thoughts & Things

Ack!!!!

I Am So Tired!

*yawn*

Hola!

Happy New Year!!!

My Life is Chaos

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Twists, Turns, & Upside Downs

HAPPY THANKSGIVING, EVERYONE!!!

Super Quickie!

blechy

I Can't Sleep

gah!

Your Help is Needed

oy

I'm BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACCCCCCCKKKKKK!!!

What A Crazy, Wild Ride

Huh...

teeter-totters are scary

blech!

Hmmmmmmmmm.......

*scratches head*

*sigh*

If You Had Told Me

Nightmare

And...

It's The Weekend! Whoo!

Blerg

Good Day

Grr......

Patience is NOT One Of My Virtues

*no title*

stuff & things

Carpooling Is a Good Idea, Right?

Indecisive Should Be My Middle Name *sigh*

Carpooling Day 1 (lol)

Bleh

*scratches head* I'm...Confuzzled

I've Been Hacked!

First Kiss

Heat Wave.

Argh!

yawn

sigh

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!! thuds

Yawn

sigh

whimper

yawn

scratches head

sigh

no title

Indecisive Should Be My Middle Name sigh

scratches head I'm...Confuzzled

She's Alive? said with a gasp and a hand to the mouth

Heh snorts